The Best Me

First off, Sitka trip. Fantastic! Ver and I finally made it out of this town, but barely. So we decided to drink the night before, just a little, just to see how it feels :) I went home around 12:30, don't know when she went home. She picked me up in the morning to head to the ferry terminal and asked if I had the tickets on the way out there. I said we get them there all we need is our ID's. So she has me look through her purse for her wallet. No wallet. Yikes. So we flip a bitch and head back to her house. Tear it apart, still no wallet. We decide to check the bar in hopes the cleaners are there and they have it. No cleaners, still no wallet. So we rush over to her job and she gets a photocopy of her ID. Now we haul ass out to the ferry terminal which is about as far away as you can get in this town, still not knowing if they will let her on. We got there and pleaded our case and they let us on. Thank goodness! The ride was fun and boring. Got into town and the ex showed us all around Sitka, it was so much fun. That town is beautiful! He dropped us off at the PBar and we hung out with B's coworker till she got off the boat. Had some drinks, checked into our hotel, went back and had more drinks. It was so effing perfect! Best weekend of my life basically. And I get to see her this weekend, three in a row! The next one is gonna blow. I'm already planning a repeat trip next month.

Now onto me. Ver and I have been talking about being healthier since I've been on my own, and making baby steps towards it. But not really getting that far. After coming back from Sitka I got a massively bad flu and am just getting over it. Because of that my last pack of smokes lasted me like four days, pretty good for me. So I decided that pack was my last! Today Ver and I got up at 5:30 and walked 4.3 miles. I had breakfast, I put on a patch she gave me and got to work on time without coffee. So this is me working on me. I've come to the realization that part of the reason my prior relationships haven't worked is because I am so focused on becoming part of the other person and not staying my own person. I think by doing this I can give B the best me. And I deserve to be the best me. I feel great and so optimistic, I have my whole great life ahead of me. And I'm so excited for it.

And the all the fluttery-worried-excited feeling I had in my stomach all week prior to going to Sitka about telling B I loved her? Well she beat me to it, so I guess we are on exactly the same page. Life is fucking amazing!