End o' Year Rant

Well I'm always complaining, might as well finish out oh nine with one. But this is valid!
Mkay, so I went out last night. I shouldn't have because I've been sick and sleeping all week. But I was going stir crazy and I have a hard time saying no to my friends. And I hadn't seen Hdot in a bit and I love her and so I went. We had a great time, hopped around, probably drank more than we needed to. Got a cab home and I spent the night at her house. Then we had to get back to her car today. We didn't get to it till 1:30, which yes is late in the day. Especially for somewhere that it's one hour parking.
BUT she had THREE parking tickets! For fuck's sake!! So the first one was because it was a night they clean the streets and she shouldn't have been there. So that one was at like 2:30AM. Ok fine, shouldn't have parked there over night. But then she got two more tickets for exceeding the hour limit. That's just excessive. And ridiculous and pisses me the fuck off! For being a responsible drinker and not driving home drunk last night, she will have to pay $91! The cab $11 plus $5 tip, and three $25 parking tickets. Thank you city and borough of Juneau. WTF?
My proposal is to have a grace period until noon. This would encourage people to leave their cars downtown and be safe and take a cab. And give em just enough time to drag their hungover asses out of bed and back downtown to get their cars. If they don't make it by noon, tough shit let the ticketing begin. In fact it wouldn't have to be all the downtown streets, obviously the cars would clog up all the "booming" retail business we have there. But there could be one street. Or two spots on every block that were "overnight friendly." Why not? I think it's a great compromise. I think there are a lot of options here and it should be changed. It would help everyone out. The city will still make tons of money ticketing people in other spots. The bars will make more money because people won't leave early in order to drive home. The cabs will get more fares. It's win, win, fucking win people!
And on a side note, cabs. I think they should have some promo going where if you keep your receipt from the night before and call them in the morning for the ride back downtown or where ever, you should get like $2 off or something. Promoting repeat business, doooo eeet!

And I think that's enough of me ranting for one year :) Hee hee. Be safe and have fun tonight. And be careful where you park your car!

And as a little aside, for the random passerby reading this who doesn't know me, I don't drive. I don't own a car and don't have my license. I just think this is outrageous and should be changed.

Lackluster

That's what I should really call this damn blog. I want to get all those witty things out of my head and post em. Somehow by the time I click open a tab and start typing, they've all wandered off. Damn short attention span thoughts. So what's been going on in my lil corner of the world? Nada. Perhaps that's contributing to the lack of post fodder. I did have about ten zillion xmas parties to attend this last week. Okay two, but I'm a hermit and it felt like I had to "be somewhere" every night. Not saying it wasn't a blast and I even got to dress up all purdy. But is it so wrong to want to stay home and watch crappy reality tv instead? Of that, I am a fan. Why enrich my life and broaden my horizons by learning or interacting with friends when I can watch Khloe drunkenly attack douchebag Scott? What's more enriching than that? Okay just about anything, but it is making winter more interesting in a cheaper-than-going-out-and-drinking-and-then-hating-life-the-next-day way.

Which is where I'm at today. I had to go out last night. My bestie J was mad I didn't spend time with her Sunday night, so she wanted me to come out Monday. So I did. Which apparently wasn't good enough. So I sat there, with V luckily, while we entertained ourselves and everyone else played a board game. Effing rad. It felt nice. So we got drunk about it and how! Especially after ditching the game we weren't a part of and going to visit mama bear at the Imp. Met a new person. One who may or may not be a person of interest this winter. We'll see. I'm not holding my breath. My other main accomplishment of yesterday, other than spending a lot of money of stuff that makes me feel like crap, was working out. Yay!

I bought several workout dvd's this summer and whatcha know, never used them. Weeeird. Cleaned my room up all nice and finally busted one out. My knee has been hurting me, so I figured that if I did the lower body workout, it would help it. Suuuure. Holy effing hell that video kicked my ass. Or my legs actually. At least it was a hot lesbian instead of Jane Fonda or the crazy little hairy munchkin. I am excited to start using it more, it was hard but good. And not only did I wake up with the MOAH (mother of all hangovers), I could also barely walk. MY LEGS HURT SO FUCKING BAD! Like I can barely step over the threshold of the door. Eff walking up stairs, yeah right! I'm pretty certain the oldest person on earth could beat me at a foot race today. And possibly tomorrow. Not to mention the amazing array of grunting / moaning noises it takes for me to get up out of this chair. I am so hot. Ah fuck it, it's a start and I'll take it!

In other news, I've decided I care not about the holidays this year. I'm single and broke and not excited about all the xmas crap? Big surprise. I'm sure if I was all excited about it, I'd still have said yes to working. On Christmas. Yup. So when the day has been overloaded by family and food and presents, come on down and drink up some holiday cheer! Alone and broke? Come on down and not tip me! All the while telling me boring stories and leering at me and most likely stinking. Oh wait, that's the customers who will already be there. I forgot. Such a charmed life I lead. And on that note, time for me to grunt my way out of this chair and smoke. Yaaay :D

Hmm neato.

Your rainbow is strongly shaded violet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What is says about you: You are a creative person. You appreciate beauty and craftsmanship. You are patient and will keep trying to understand something until you've mastered it.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

Decisions decisions

Why must I always make decisions? I'm a damn Gemini, I can't choose anything!

I did it!!

I officially have art in an art show! Waahooo! I really thought it wouldn't happen what with my vacation, moving, and general pussiness. But I pulled it together and did it. Gotta say, it feels great! Maybe this will be the catalyst to keep me going in the direction I should be. I feel so good creating, I just need to do it more. And I have been, what with the not working currently. I have no excuse and plenty (but never enough) supplies and time.
Speaking of supplies, I found a new one to collect all of. Elmer's Painter's Markers. It's a marker filled with acrylic paint. Neeeeato! I used it on the outline of my swirls and it was so much easier than a brush. As I can justify spending money on artsy stuff, I will be buying many more of them.
I'll keep it short and sweet and leave ya with what's gonna be in the show (it is fully outlined in black, forgot to upload the completed piece.)

Winter time

Brrrr. Okay so it's actually not that cold today. Just wet and chilly. The snow that dumped on us is pretty much gone down here. Making the town have that re-exposed garbage filled streets look we usually see in spring. Wish it was spring! Actually I'm excited for winter and settling into my new place. I'm not looking forward to unpacking all my crap I should just get rid of, but I do like setting up house. Things I plan on doing this winter season:
-Getting my ass to the gym. Regularly!
-Leaning back towards a vegetarian diet. I just feel drawn to it. Might as well accept it.
-Ace my state job interview on Monday and get a big girl job.
-Make myself spend time being artsy. Explore new mediums and craft styles. Just started using thin tip and paint brush tip markers. Very outside my comfort zone and fun.
-Work on being me and figuring out who that is. It's something I've thought about for a long time and need to get down to it. I need to know me and what I want before I can expect someone else to!
-Think outside myself. Again this is something I often think about but don't act on. I want to make a difference, even if it's just a teeny tiny one.

What I've done so far this winter:
-Reduced my smoking. I'm down from a pack a day to zero to two to five a day. I'll take it! And I'll get to zero all the time. But it's a big baby step for me.
-Moved! And dang I never want to again!
-Started pushing myself artistically Working on filling up all my half used sketch books. And actually honing and expanding my photography skills.
-Seen through bullshit. I'm over games and drama. I want friends not people that bring me down. Luckily I've got good friends.

And for my final list, Things I heart at the moment in no particular order:
-Lady Gaga I am thoroughly impressed with her level of committment to weird entertainment. I think she's rad and fun to shake my ass to, so there.
-The Kardashians I should be ashamed to admit this, but I'm so looking forward to the new show on Dec 13th. I think there should be a drinking game involved. Something along the lines of a shot every time they hold their phone in front of their mouth to talk. But you'd be passed out before it was over!
-My friends! This has definitely been an interesting fall into winter and not the best by far. I couldn't survive without my V!! And Bumble Bee and Lil' Miss Cap't.
-Candy canes Yum, yay Christmas time! But only the good ones, Bob's. So very derish! Dang I knew I should have brought one to work!
-V's parents A couple of those rare genuinely nice people! So very very nice. I haven't been around a family setting in so long, it's like being wrapped in a blanket and handed a kitten and cocoa and then being told silly almost off color jokes. And they're being super understanding of my money flow as I transition apartments and jobs.

Gee I guess that's about it. Now to try and do these lists. And semi regularly blog about it to boot!

Slackin the days away

AKA Vaca Part II: East Coast Ed. Wrap Up

So let's see, where did I leave off? I took two mini road trips with my mom. Which was fun in a "damn the leaves are beautiful but I just want to rip my hair out" sort of way. First trip we went NW from Hartford up to the corner of the state. Beeeeautiful. Rolling hills, farms, huge old houses, fantastic leaves to peep. And I forgot my camera. So that day was documented by my phone. Not too bad, but I missed out on some phenomenal pics. We even made it over the border into New York. Coming from a landlocked tiny town that still blows my mind. You just drive? And end up in another state? I don't get it.

Then the next day we headed in the opposite direction and ended up in New London and Mystic, CT. This time I took my camera. And this time there weren't nearly as many interesting things to photograph. But I got some neat shots. We went to the Coast Guard Academy so my mom could renew her pass. But her registration expired the next day and she didn't bring the new one. So no new pass. Silly lady. I saw TWO Alaska plates on cars. Tugged at my heartstrings something fierce. Then we drove to Mystic. Well let me clarify. Mom got on the freeway headed to New York. I told her we were headed the wrong way and made her turn around. So yeah I can't drive, I am an amazing navigator! And don't you forget it!
So we get to Mystic and eat at, ta da, Mystic Pizza! You know, like the movie. From the 80's. That I think I might have seen. Once. When I was five. I wasn't that impressed. Hoky stuff like that is not my thing. But the food was ok and I got some shotglasses for my friend.

The day of the flight I was trying to convince myself that my ten ton suitcase wasn't over fifty lbs. HA! I finally swiped a duffle from the attic and loaded it up. It weighed about 20ish lbs. The big suitcase was too big to balance on the scale to see how much it weighed. (It ended up weighing 51 lbs! After I took at least 20 out!! But she let me slide and didn't charge me.)

I won't bore you with the details from the drive up to Boston. But it was basically more "Holy hell I want to pull my hair out!" then "Look at the pretty trees." Especially when we got to the airport. My mom went to arrivals first. Sheesh. Gets to departures and asks, "Where do I park?" What? This is where I get dropped off. Ugh, so we go around. She refuses to go in where it says PARKING and instead ends up back at arrivals. Holy crap. So we go around again. Once more refusing to enter the parking area. This time we end up back on the freeway!! By now I am swearing away. I feel bad. Now. Not at the moment. So anyway, we finally get there and she lets me go. Then I'm sitting down outside security and she walks up. So we got to hang out for a while longer.
I feel bad, but this kind of shit is why we don't get along. She is so nice and I should have no reason to ever be upset at her. But I am. Almost always. She just does things so passively and gets under my skin. Arg. Well I did my time, see ya in 2 years!

The flight wasn't too bad. Had a suit sit down next to me, take the longest, hardest stare at my arm o' tattoos and move. Hahahahahaha! He didn't really move because of me, but I bet he felt better not being near a crazy hooligan like me. So I got an empty seat next to me! Woo Hoo!
And that concludes my East Coast portion of my trip. Up next, Seattle Sisterland Redux.

P.S.

I'm single. At least for the winter. Or something like that. I guess I should be more upset, but it was mostly my idea. It makes no sense to be involved with someone on the other side of the country. Out of town 13 out of 14 days? Maybe. Across the country? Just ridiculous. I wish things could be different, but it is what it is. If it's meant to be then it shall be. And we are still friends, we have no reason to not be. It's really just the immense space of the United States getting in the way. So for now I'm looking forward to the adventures I will be having this winter. And maybe some familiar adventures next summer. Or new ones! Either way, I don't know where I'm going, but I know I'm going forward!

Still here

Don't got much going on. And even less that's blog worthy. The weather has been down right craptastic. Rainy and cold and even some almost snow. You'd think I was home. But today was pretty and sunny again. Hopefully it lasts at least until I leave on Friday. And then follows me to Seattle.
So I've been working on my Halloween costume. My friend is going to be a bumblebee. Which for some reason I was thinking of being. Totally not me but I haven't been able to get the idea out of my head. So we decided I should be a lady bug to match her costume. Well the premade costumes are lame and not worth spending money on. So what did I do? Spent more money! I found a fantastic site called Hips and Curves, specializing in hot corsets and other unmentionables for curvy girls. *Ahem* me. So I got a black corset which I can obviously use many more times. And two short petticoats. One in red and one in black. And some fishnets. Yes this year I am using my right as a girl to be a slutty version of some animal.
But now I have to find wings and antennas and make little dots to go on the corset. You'd think finding some damn wings would be simple. But noooo. None of them were the right size. If they were the right size, they were the wrong color. Sheesh. So looks like I will be making some wings. Or turn my costume into something else slutty. I'm sure I'll figure it out. And just to prove just how awesome the site is, here ya go. Rawr.

Q & A's

Found a new way to waste away my vacation minutes.

Saw this survey on that infamous social network I spent every minute on and decided it would be more fun to answer it here. So 'ere it goes...

How old were you when you got your first kiss?
15. Lemke's basement, but not with him.

Have you ever shop-lifted from any store?
I once slipped a cheap (I'm talking $2 max) ring on my finger and left the store. I was in middle school and still feel bad about it today.

Do you believe in Big Foot or the Loch Ness Monster?
Kind of. The world, as cramped as it is becoming, is still a massively large place. There just might be amazing creatures out there we don't know about. At least I'd like to hope so.

Have you ever traveled out of the counrty?
Only to the "hat" and "underoo's" of this country. I don't think they count. Don't get me wrong guys, you count! It's just that I've only gone through Canada to get back home to AK or go down south. Not as a let's explore the country trip.

If you were President what would be the first thing you would fix?
The glaring lack of gay rights. Nuff said.

Have you ever swam in the buff?
I don't think I ever have. How sad.

Have you ever cheated in school on a test?
Yes! I remember trying to cheat off of a map of Africa behind me in some world studies class. I kept turning and the substitute thought I was looking at my friends test. She took my test away but I later found out I still received credit for it and passed. Sucka!

What is your favorite food?
Favorite type of food would have to be "Asian". One because it's such a broad term and two because it's damn delicious.

Ever kicked an amimal? including any pets you have or had?
I have kicked my kitten. Generally after he scratches the shit out of me. But not like I punt him across the room. As much as I would love to.

If you had a million dollars what would be the first thing you would buy?
Probably upgrade my ticket back home to first class. Then a house or three.

Do you have any phobias?
I have irrational fears. Such as driving. I have horrible panic attacks when I attempt to drive. Hence me being 28 and still sans license.

What would be your last meal?
Probably something really fattening. Like the most perfect chicken fried steak and all the goodness.

Ever broken the law (not including speeding or a parking ticket)?
Nothing I've been caught for!

What T.V. game show would you like to be on?
Cash Cab! I yell at the TV when the idiots on there don't know something I deem simple. I would probably get on it and get stumped by some world events question though.

Who do you think is the most evil person in the world right now (alive)
I don't think there is one. But I think there is an evil hating mindset in a lot of people and it just spreads.

Are you happy with you body?
Nope. Not at all. But better than I used to be. I'm finally pretty much ok with my face, my body will come someday.

Do you believe in God?
I believe there may be a higher power that started it all. I don't believe that there is a gray haired man sittin on a cloud looking down on creation. I can't ignore science which a lot of religious people find a way to do.

Have you ever been in love?
Three times. And seeing how much I like lucky talismans, it is hopefully a charm!!

Keepin on keeping on

So I have had a little spare time lately. Like say, all day, to peruse the internet. Turns out there isn't much on it. So after checking my fave blogs, it's back to darned face book. Because it's there. And if I'm online and one of my friends back home is, instant convo! The four hour time difference doesn't help however. So I adopted a pet on there. It's completely stupid and not something I would waste my time with ordinarily. But it's filling time. And it makes me laugh because I adopted a panda and named it Frigid. As in "The only species that won't fuck to save itself." One of my fave authors. So that makes me giggle. And I've been taking quizzes. Big surprise there. I do one and get on a bender, searching for the best and most descriptive quiz ever. Because I suck. Yesterday I took one called "What cute love quote are you?" Don't judge me, I'm a bored girl in love! And the answer I got was "If I can only be with you in my dreams, let me sleep forever." Le Sigh! It was all about long distance shit. The line in the description that I need to remember was "Keep up the fight and be who you are. Love lasts a lifetime. If it's the real thing you'll know.." Remember how I believe in signs and fate and all that good stuff? Even face book is telling me to fight for her. And I shall.

And that commences my low point in bloggerdom. Blogging about a quiz result and my fake panda I adopted, both from face book. Shoot...me...now.

Oh yeah! I found out I can "walk" past her house via street view using g.oogle maps. Made me grin like an idiot to see the porch I stood on with her less than a week ago. I can't wait to be there again.

Farm livin' is the life for me

Today was 100% wholesome, good ol' fashioned work. I harvested a row of carrots and a row of beets. Dug 'em up out of the ground with my two hands. Washed em up all good and got to a chopping. I was going to pickle and can the beets but after boiling them decided not to. Instead I made a salad as similar as possible to one I get from a grocer where my sis lives. I even picked all the herbs from the garden. Still just blows my mind. It turned out pretty darn tasty.

Now on to the carrots. Yesterday some nice neighbor guy brought a bunch of medium spicy peppers. And we have carrots. So I bought cauliflower and vinegar and started looking up how to make giardiniera. I sorta fudged several recipes together. But it seemed ok. Pretty much spent all day in front of the sink either washing, peeling or chopping. Then I sanitized all of the jars and whatnot for the canning. I am still uncertain if I filled them correctly, but again, it seemed ok. Boiled em all up and ended up with at least a dozen that are correctly sealed. At least two are totally effed and a couple others that seem questionable. Still way more spicy veggie goodness than I need. Hello xmas gifts!

All in all it was pretty darn rad. I really could do this. Always. I could only feel more accomplished if I had planted and grown the veggies I picked today. Why do I have to call home a place that is so expensive? Sure things grow there and people have gardens. But I doubt my landlord would like it if I started a little garden on the roof next to my studio apartment. Just going out on a limb there. A place with a yard? Right. Ahh anyway, yet another day dream to pass the time working at the bar or the knife shop.

And now to enjoy some lovely VT beer. "Blackbeary Wheat" from Long Trail, pretty tasty. I think I like Magic Hat #9 best out of the VT beers I've tried so far. Definitely not a fan of Magic Hat Wacko. But the bottle was pretty. And I do love being entertained by the little phrases under the lid.

On the B front, she should hopefully be down here Thursday. I fucking hope so. Think I'll go smoke and wish on a star :) Night lovies.

Happy Post?

I'll try and make it so, but no promises. I've been spinning my wheels in CT since B dropped me off on Thursday. The story was she'd be back by today or Monday. And that got delayed. So now maybe Wednesday. Which is making me feel like I have a soggy rain cloud around my head. Well so much for happy post. It's just so very frustrating to be within 3 hours of her and not be with her. Especially when I only have limited days when I can possibly be with her. I'm literally killing time. Bam. Gone. But all I can tell myself is that I'm in it to win it. This is worth it. It's worth whatever this winter can throw at me. She's worth it a million times over. I've got this!

The slight upside to her not moving to Juneau this winter is that I'm free to work at the bar. Not that she wouldn't let me! It's just that I hated the idea of her being there working a more normal hours job and me going to work when she gets home. I hate living an opposite life. It's not fun. Not even a little. But if she's not there, hell I can work every effing night. Working New Year's Eve? Not a prob, no one to kiss! So my current plan is to work as much as possible all winter. This will make time pass and make me money. Another plan is to stop drinking. Like completely. All the time. I know myself and I know I will end up shooting myself in the foot if I drink this winter. So that will be even better for me! I'm not going to eff up the most amazing thing to happen to me because I want to get tipsy. I'm too old to do that crap. I've got my eye on the prize. So for now I'm working my way through my bottle o' vodka at my mom's house. And damn am I a good bartender!

Today was a good day though. I did all kinds of crafty stuff. Like tons yo! I added text to the wall hanging I started painting yesterday. And I watercolored a picture of the back yard and gave it to my mom. It should be hung on the fridge cause it looks like a 7th grader made it. But it made me happy. I sat outside pretty much all day painting. And drilling. Or etching, whatever. I got a little pen sized etching tool and picked the good rocks from around the patio and etched stuff on them. Mostly hearts and stars and whatnot. My ulterior motive is to give them to B (so that she thinks about me every second I'm not with her). Big surprise there! I may get some shallow wood box and fill it with white sand and she can have a tiny zen garden of love or I will just give her the stones. Some of them turned out pretty darn cool. Iffin I do say so myself. I also finally got my metal character stamps. Woo hoo! I've been searching for them all summer. Debating whether or not I really needed them or not. And then we were going to some store and next to it was one of the places I had found them online. Hot damn real world! They haven't worked perfectly yet. I need a benchstone or anvil, but they will!

Later on in the day a neighbor brought over a ton of mystery peppers and broccoli from the community garden. Grandma didn't want him to leave all of it, she thought it was too much. I said hell no and thank you very much, we'll take it ALL! Turns out the peppers are hot like I thought. They are delish is what they really are! So I have two bowls of sliced peppers waiting. I think I am going to make pickled peppers. And also that mix my dad loved to eat, some Italian thing. Peppers, cauliflower, carrots and onions pickled together. I love that shit. And now I get to make it? Holy effing radness batman. So my plan is to research just the right recipe and techniques tonight. Tomorrow pick the carrots and beets from the backyard and getta cannin! Oh yeah I'm gonna pickle some beets too. I could very quickly get used to having a garden. Very quickly.

Vaca Part II: East Coastness

I flew into Boston Sunday night. After flying first class. Oh yeaaaah. It was so nice, so so very nice. I never want to go back to sitting with the peasants again. Of course that is where I will sit every time I fly for the rest of my life, but oh well. B was an hour late picking me up, but it was worth every second of waiting. Oh bliss to hold her in my arms again!

Spent Monday and Tuesday driving all around VT. Went up to the mountain she works on and she tried to get me to climb a fire watchtower. What a silly girl. But the view was absolutely amazing. Got to do a little hiking, saw turkeys in the wild, tons of cows and horses. Got to pet her sister's pigs and cluck at her chickens on her farm.

Met her two sisters, her dad and a good friend. All who are rad as fuck. I helped pull up carpet staples with her dad and then rip out the living room carpet. Helped bring in fire wood for the wood stove. All kinds of wholesome country activities. Drank a bunch of local beer. Magic Hat #9, delish. Very much like Pyramid Apricot Ale but they have fun little sayings under the bottle cap. Had Switchback something or other at the Barn last night. Pretty tasty as well. Tried some of her Ten Penny? beer. Also tasty. Basically being in the country brings out the beer drinker in me. Maybe it's just her.

She drove me down to my mom's in West Hartford today to drop me off. She is going to be helping move stuff from room to room as the new carpet is installed this weekend. Then she is driving back down to spend hopefully the week with me and my mom and gmom. And then I don't know what. My bro in law is playing in NH on Saturday and I know my mom wants to go see him. I would kind of like to stay here all week, go up and see him and then go to VT with B for most of the rest of the time I'm on the East Coast. But it depends on what she has to do for her job.

After she dropped me off I got dirty! Got to play in my gmom's garden. So much fun for a girl from Alaska. I got to pull up carrots and beets. Picked a bell pepper and coriander. And then I roasted them in VT maple syrup and ate them with pasta with pesto made from basil from the garden. Too effing rad. This darn coast can definitely win me over. If only all of my friends would pick a town and move there with me.

But the thing is, it's just not for me. I love-hate-mostly love Juneau. I love the coziness of the town. I hate that rent is through the roof for a ghetto craptastic apartment and bell peppers usually cost more than $3. But it's beautiful. It's my home. I hate the hustle and bustle of everywhere else. Up in VT it was so nice and chill but so spread out. They all commute at least an hour to their jobs. That just doesn't make any sense to me. People do that in big cities, living their lives in their cars. Why choose to do that? I don't know. I think I have lots to mull over during this trip. Hopefully I can make it all make sense and come to the best decision.

Vaca Part I: Seattle Tripola

Had a great flight outta Juneau Thursday. Even though I had to sit between two people. Who I didn't know. There was a hilarious flight attendant dude that made the flight awesome. The two Finlandia cran's helped too.

The always amazing Sevanni picked me up, we drove up to her place and chitter chatted all the way. I loves her! I wish she still lived in Juneau. She made the Rondy not so soul sucking. We got all hotted up and hung out at her work for most of the night, taking a slight crawl down the road to another divey type bar. It was a blast. Just what I needed. And what she needed too :)

Had perhaps the best (and worst for me) breakfast ever the next morning. Deep fried peanut butter stuffed french toast with bananas and whip cream and maple syrup. And bacon. Hooooo boy was it good!

S took me up to my sis's place in Bothell and I got to meet my new nephew Jackson. So so so cute. Holy cuteness! So smiley and so serious at the same time. I loves him! It makes me sad to think he's going to grow up just like Aiden and Ella and I'm gonna barely see him. But this is the second time this year I've been able to visit so maybe it's getting better. Speaking of the other monkeys, they rock. I got to cheer on Aiden and keep Ella warm at his football game this morning. 4-0 baby! Go Trojans! I wish I could spend my entire vacation here. But I do get a whole week with them at the end of the month. Carve some pumpkins, glitter tattoos session two, it's gonna be good.

And now the countdown that seemed endless is so almost close to being done. I can't wait to step off that plane tomorrow night. My uber girl mind can't help but imagine it totally pre-9/11 style. Her waiting right at the gate looking eagerly shy and dapper and perhaps holding flowers, me looking perfectly femme and rolling a carry on bag up the ramp. I run to her, we embrace, she spins me around lifting my 40's style pumps off the ground and making my houndstooth trench flair around me. Squeezing tighter and tighter until there is no space between us. And that's when the audience sighs. As do I because that is so not how it's gonna be. It's gonna be great, but none of the film noir spit curls or flowers. But I don't care. Because what will be there is her. And me. Finally on the same coast, in the same time zone, in the same state, in the same room. Sigh effing sigh. One last sleeps till what feels like the best Christmas ever.

Time o' Transition

I am so mother effing excited to almost be unemployed! I have today and tomorrow off because there is no boat either day. And then the last boat comes on Sunday. I have to do payroll on Monday but that should be about it. YAYS! Then just a couple days to try to get ready for my trip and off I go.

So far today has been fantastically lazy and productive. I got to sleep in, watched the best movie ever (I love you man), took a package to the post office and have been soaking up WIFI from the Rondy ever since. I decided to make a sticker for the bar. We need some grass roots advertising. And my laptop needs one. So that's making me feel like I'm actually utilizing some of my creativity that's been going to waste.

And I've been contemplating what I'm going to do for the Alternative Arts thingy in December. I have a month to work on it when I get back. I think I'm gonna paint my lady-quin finally. But we'll see. I'm afraid I will just "not decide" and end up not doing anything. Which is bullshit. This is exactly what I need. To be forced to be creative and produce something that the public will see. Instead of just friends that see my random shit.

I really really wish I had the interweb at my house. It would be way better than sitting in a cold bar. Poo. I might just have to get it this winter. But hell if I know what's going on or even where I'll be this winter. It is the great unknown at the moment. Kinda freaking me out. But kinda the most awesome thing ever. I'll take it!

BAMF post

I got convinced to help out the good ol' Rendezvous last night. I wasn't planning on bartending until I got back from my trip in November. But they had a band at the bar and two off site gigs at the same time. And I like money. And I made my boss promise that I wouldn't have to set up or break down. I was kinda scared to do it again after so long. But within minutes it felt like home again. It was such a blast. And it was packed! It was a charity event with some band from Anchorage and three opening acts. And the beer proceeds all went to the charity and people could bring whatever size cup for it. Well it was supposed to be 14-16 ozs. Buuuut not so much. There were some ginormous mugs! And at least one full sized nalgene that got filled up a bunch of times. Oh and did I mention it was $4 bucks!? Which was great for all the damn hippies trying to save the ocean and the extra dollar that almost every time went in our tip jar. It was a great lure to make me want to bartend again.

Then I was all ready to drink afterwards. And ran into my bestest that I never see anymore and she convinced me to stay out allll night. Then she and my coworker from the bar came over and we passed out watching movies. Three people on my couch + drunk pass out in weird ball = lots of joint pain and limping for me. Lame. I feel like a gahddamned old lady. And it's my good knee that hurts because of it!

V picked me up this morning to have coffee at her place and entertain her while she cleaned her house. I told her I'd buy if we got real coffee. So we head to Lemon Creek, don't recognize the people working. Checked out the new drive thru by Costco, didn't recognize that person either. So we decide to drive all the way out to the effing valley. It's a Saturday, we have to know someone at Glacier, right?? We see our friends car finally! Because of my gimp-tastic status I ask to go through the drive thru. So we wait for literally 20-25 minutes. Finally a car away and we see that she's not working the window. Fuck my life. We get our coffee and it was so bad. So so so bad. So we drove back downtown to her house and she made good regular coffee.

Then we got to scraping her floor. She is in the process of removing a portion of her carpet that one of her asshole cats has peed all over. The carpet is up but the carpet pad was glued to the concrete floor. It's kind of ridiculously difficult to scrape up. But kinda fun. That's my butch showing through I'd suppose :) Now my arms are like jello. But I have the rest of the day to do nothing if I feel like it. No boats! Woo Hoo! So I'm chilling drinking DC at the Imp, stealing wifi to look up carpet removal tips. Soooo gay. I love it!

To Double Triple Clarify

I am not mad at my friends for being friends with my ex. I don't hate my ex. She is a good person. They were friends with her when we were together, why shouldn't they be now? I just feel shafted on the way joint custody of said friends has turned out. The end.

PS- I hate tourists. And they're mother effing stupid questions. And then them not believing my answers. Yes I am lying to you. Nope, still lying. Chriiiiist. The real end.

With enemies like these...

...I don't need friends? Ok so no enemies exactly, but I like the way it sounded. This is my little rant that has been bouncing around in my head for the last several days. First off let me clarify and say I love all of my friends. They are my friends for a reason. I wasn't born into having to talk to them, hang out with them, etc. I choose to.
However this summer has been very hectic with running Stabby World and my awesome new relationship(s). Therefore a lot of my friends have seen very little of me. It sucks. I miss them.
With work it always seems like I get invited out for a beer when I'm super stressed and hours away from being able to leave work. If I do get to see them, they're wasted and fairly annoying. They don't understand why I can't just hang out at 2:30 in the afternoon or why I'm not all crazy fun when I do get off work.
Last weekend I had more time to hang out (read: get drunk) with my friends. It was great, I really really miss them. But I made a comment about how they are always doing stuff with my ex and it sucks that I never see them. And now she works with most of them, so they're all buddy buddy coworkers. WHICH IS FINE. Do not get me wrong, I really think she's fun to hang out with. They should. I just can't cause we're not there. So anyway I complain about her hanging with them and not me. And my friend goes "What, I can't be friends with her too?" At which point I wanted to shout, "Yes you can be her friend TOO, but that would entail hanging out with me also! Otherwise you're just her friend." Who bitches about never seeing me. WTF?
I know this is just a big jumble and makes little to no sense, but then I guess it's good no one reads this :) I had to get it out of my head. It's just frustrating when I'm getting chastised for not "being there" for my friends and then they're literally choosing to hang out with the one person who doesn't want to be around me therefore I won't be a dick and be there too. It just plain sucks.

In better news the days are going by. It's hard to remember that no matter what each day has 24 hrs. No matter how long they seem, they all pass. And they are! I now have 16 sleeps till I get to be back in my baby's loving arms. And goddamn it I can't wait! I got a bad reception call, a couple of texts and then a good reception call from her yesterday. It was so good to hear her voice. I couldn't figure out why I was so extremely stressed. I always am this time of year, but this has been exceptionally bad. And it's because I didn't know when I would get to talk to her again. I just can't wait to get off the plane on the East Coast. Holy hell it's gonna be fantastic!
The whole is she moving her thing is still stressful. I think she is. She said she is. But then she was still talking about her winter job back home. So I don't know. Either way it's all gonna work out in the end. I do know she pinky swore V that she would come back to town. So that's pretty much a signed contract :) And I'll take it. She is the best thing that's every happened to me. By far.

Molehilling

Over the last three years or so I've done a great job of incurring a mountain of debt. Oh you bought a house? No. You bought a car? Nope. You, uh, bought groceries and movies and nights at the bar for you and others? That's the one. Nothing like being massively in debt and not actually having anything to show for it. Pure radness. I've been trying to pay them off forever, but something always gets in the way of me making a dent. Such as moving out, transitioning to a new job, etc. I went back to Stabby World specifically to pay off my credit cards. And all summer I really haven't been able to. I've been playing catch up with my rent, that's fun. Oh yeah. But this month I suddenly had a chunk of moola to use (wisely). I was able to pay off my tiny credit card last month, it was under a grand. And then just yesterday I was able to pay off my middle credit card which was several grand. So now I just have one huge momma to pay off. And I was able to put a nice piece of cash towards that too. So I'm back to being broke, but way ahead of the game. Now I only have on card accruing interest, yay! I feel so good! And I was able to pay my bar tab that has been running since about April. Luckily I haven't gone out a ton this summer, but whooo boy it got up there.
So that's the awesomeness that is my life at the moment. That and I have 12, oh yes count em, 12! days left of boats coming into my town! And I have 20 more days until I get to fly outta here and see my sister! I am so effing excited! I can't wait!! Can you tell? I'm just a little excited :) I still don't know where I will be most of my vacation but I will be in SEA for 3 days and then I fly to BOS on Oct 4th and don't return to SEA until Oct 24th and then Juneau Oct 31st. Just in time for Halloween!
Ideally I will spend some time with my Mom (hopefully with Becki there!) in CT, spend some time up in VT with her family, hit MD for the Ray LaMontagne concert and also cruise around Boston with my awesome ice / mountain / top of the world climbing friend. If I sit on my ass in CT with just my Mom for three weeks, oh well at least it'll be different than sitting on my ass here. But hopefully all the fun stuff happens.
Speaking of Becki, today is the last time their boat is in town. And because they aren't picking up passengers tomorrow, they aren't staying over night. Bull shit. Pure bull shit. So I don't know when I get to see her or for how long, so that sucks a big one. And then at the soonest I won't see her for 22 days. If then. Pooop. But whatev's, it's all gonna be fine I know it!
And on that note I think it's time I got outside. Today is my favorite day of the season. The boat doesn't come in until 1pm and it's crisp and kinda sunny out. The perfect day to get a latte, light a smoke and walk on the tranquil empty docks. Ahhh. I love it.

Sitka Take Deux

So Sitka came so close to not happening! Eek! Once again it seemed like a great idea to get hamboned the night before. Yup, talk about not learning from mistakes. Drink all night, lose V along the way, cut to phone ringing at 7:34AM. Ver telling me it's time to get up, NOW! So like I mentioned in the last Sitka post, the ferry terminal is not just down the road from my house. Noooo, not even close. And my ferry was supposed to leave at 8AM.
We haul ass to the terminal, get there at like 7:58AM. Run to the ticket counter and they tell me the ramp is already up. But that I can go tomorrow. I don't need to go tomorrow!!! So I quickly leave, almost make it to the door before a huge sob sneaks out, and tell Ver to drive so I can cry without them seeing. Check my bank balance and head to the airport. There is no way I wasn't getting out of this damn town. Luckily I have enough money and can get on the 11AM flight.
So we go get some brekkie at Donna's. Mighta been the hangover, but that was the best Chicken Fried Steak I've ever had. Ever. Which is good cause it turns out to be all I eat that day.
Got to Sitka safe and sound. I was really glad it wasn't bumpy cause I am a massive baby when it comes to flying (or anything really), and Sitka has one of those creepy built on the water runways. Like oops too far, look at the fishies swim by the window! Z picked me up and dropped me off at B's boat. So I got to chill in her bunk while she finished up work. I wrote teeny tiny notes and hid them all over. I'm so lame, I know. Then slept my hangover away for the next several hours. And then was woken up by the hottest lady on earth, in a towel with dripping wet hair. Yes please!
Walked to the hotel in the pissing rain, my left over liquid eyeliner returning to its natural state of liquid and covering my face. Awesome.
Showered and went out. Had a blast. Got to learn so much about her and just talk, it was really, really good! Really, really, really good :)
The next morning we tried to find coffee but to no avail. Had to walk back to her boat empty handed. I then got all sad thinking about how long I will be away from her when her boat heads back to Seattle. That wasn't fun. Luckily Z invited me to brunch with him and his lady at the Larkspur. Very tasty hippy food and I got a sweet tshirt. We walked around town a bit since it was much nicer than the prior day and then they drove me to the ferry terminal. Which I did not miss!

Suerte

I have a thing for good luck symbols. Horseshoes, pennies, etc. I don't know if I necessarily believe in them, or just believe in me believing in them, if that makes any sense. Like how I can't not wish on the first star I see at night. And good luck getting me to pick up a penny that's tails up or toast water. Sometimes I'm not too superstitious, sometimes I'm just a little stitious :) I think luck and fate are entwined. Good luck, bad luck, it's all how it's supposed to be. Doesn't mean we don't have some control over our life, but I do think every right and wrong choice we make takes us to exactly where we're supposed to be. I've always thought this, but still not fully believed in it. Of course it's much easier for me to believe when times are good. And oh how times are good. Is it luck, fate, or just chance that all of my wrong decisions ultimately turned out to be the right ones to lead me to this amazingly happy time in my life? Things are going so well it kind of freaks me out. I've been so marginally living my life for so long, I just don't believe that this can be real. And my lack of self esteem doesn't help either. My mind can't wrap itself around the idea that I am worth moving across the country for. It's to the point that for a split second I think I should push her away, save her from me. That ultimately I will make the wrong decisions all over again and crush such a caring soul. But I also think that all of those bad choices have been lessons that I'm finally learning. This isn't like anything I've experienced before because I haven't experienced it yet! I should take the past into account, but not stop myself from living because of it. So for now Mr. Mraz said it perfectly...

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I'll wait for you I promise you, I will

Addictivity

So I might get addicted to things easily. Or things that are very addictive I like a lot. Hmm. Used to be sitting in a bar drinking, doing bad things. Always ready for the next night, the next unhealthy adventure. Luckily I'm not so addicted to that anymore. Still nice and addicted to smoking. It's just so darn tasty is all. And now I'm getting addicted to working out. Yes! Finally a good one! Still don't yearn for it quite the same as drinking and smoking, but it'll get there. I do however have a new bad addiction. Etsy. Oh how I can't live without thee! Ob-sessed! And worse off is that I happen to have cash in my bank account that is just sitting there. Not rent money, not bill money. Just...etsy money..eek. And I happen to be buying things under the guise of presents for upcoming birthdays. Yeah, like two of the things, maybe.
But in the long run spending hours perusing the site just makes me want to make things. Lots of things! I want to work with metal, yarn, paints, found materials. It makes me want to CREATE! And I just don't have the effing space for it and it's driving me crazy. I've been slightly obsessing (see a pattern?) over character stamps and initial jewelry. Looking at hardware sites, fine jewelry sites, wanting to buy all the materials and tools needed. And I could. But where oh where would I create with such tools and materials? Certainly not at my house. I can't leave cellophane from a cigarette pack on the floor or my cat attacks it. I have one door that closes. And behind that door is the cat stuff, so I can't exactly lock them out of there. Oh and it's the bathroom, I don't see that as a great jewelry making site. My apartment really isn't so bad. I just need some huge wardrobe with latching doors. I could have my paintings dry in there, trays with little shiny fixings just waiting to be combined. Sigh. Or I can just wait out the summer and see where the fall takes me. Either I'm moving :) or I'm investing in some kind of storage space so I can get back to being creative. Don't even get me started on knitting. Luckily the scarf that is now off the needle was one I didn't really like and I'm sure I can sand down the double pointed bamboo needle with the tiny kitty teeth marks in it.

Sunday Morning Reverie

Pure mush. You've been warned...

How I love and hate Sunday mornings. I am a huge fan of the wee hours of the morning. Especially waking up and realizing I am in my love's arms. The drifting in and out of sleep. Having the sweetest dream and being awake for it. Tangled in sheets and legs and smiles. I'd trade the sun and live in the darkness if I could always have that feeling. But then time tick tocks its way into the ephemeral perfection and it's time to tear away. How my heart aches just thinking about getting up and eventually having to say goodbye yet again. Just one more moment, no need to get up just yet, plenty of time still love. Time however has a way of moving on, faster and faster just when you want it to slow...to....a.....crawl. Then the search for far flung belongings. Slow meandering walk for coffee. Even slower much more resistant walk to the dock. Then silent pleads to freeze the moment that fall on the deaf ears of time and space. A million final goodbyes, just one more. Just one. And then there is just one left. With the sweetest kisses still lingering on my lips my feet guide me back home. Meanwhile my heart is stowing away, safe and sound snuggled with my love's own. Leaving in its place a sweet reverie, each moment replaying over and over. Committing to memory every sigh, glance, kiss, touch. The feeling of warm ticklish skin moving under fingertips and lips. Constellations of freckles dappling skin like stars at twilight. The weightlessness of being at home in each others arms. This is how I make it through the next two weeks.

<3 Music

Takin a break from my jam packed Friday for a music moment. I just heard a song that I have to post the lyrics to. It is pretty darn good and it would have been even more applicable a couple of months ago. It turns out it is by the same artist who sang the song B had me listen to on her iPod a few weeks ago. That one is completely currently applicable and heck I guess I aughta put those lyrics on here to. So first up, just heard this song a few minutes ago:

Joshua Radin : Brand New Day

Some kind of magic
Happens late at night
When the moon smiles down on me
And bathes me in it’s light

I fell asleep beneath you
In the tall blades of grass
When I woke the world was new
I never had to ask

It’s a brand new day
The sun is shining
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know
I’ll be ok

Most kind of stories
Save the best part for last
Most stories have a hero who finds
You make your past your past
Ya you make your past your past

It’s a brand new day
The sun is shinning
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
In such a long long time
I know
I’ll be ok

This cycle never ends
Gotta fall in order to mend

And it’s a brand new day
It’s a brand new day
For the first time
Inn such a long long time
I know
I’ll be ok

And this is the song B played for me:

Joshua Radin : I'd Rather Be With You

Sitting here, on this lonely dock
Watch the rain play on the ocean top
All the things I feel I need to say
I can't explain in any other way

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

Now here's the sun, come to dry the rain
Warm my shoulders and relieve my pain
You're the one thing that I'm missing here
With you beside me I no longer fear

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too

I could have saved so much time for us
Had I seen the way to get to where I am today
You waited on me for so long
So now, listen to me say:

I need to be bold
Need to jump in the cold water
Need to grow older with a girl like you
Finally see you are naturally
The one to make it so easy
When you show me the truth
Yeah, I'd rather be with you
Say you want the same thing too
Say you feel the way I do

The great thing about both songs? I know I'll be OK and I do feel the way she feels. I highly recommend listening to them. And while you're at it, these too:

Amos Lee - Arms of A Woman
Ray LaMontagne - Roses And Cigarettes; You Are The Best Thing; Hey Me, Hey Mama
Ray Charles & Van Morrison - Crazy Love
Ingrid Michaelson - Breakable
UB40 - Bring Me Your Cup

I guess that's enough sappy love songs for one post, better get back to "work".

Doin it

Day two of walking. And I got up and did it. As much as I didn't want to and had a splitting headache. But I feel much better having done so. So the whole quitting smoking thing got put on hold. But I have a really good reason, I swear. I ordered patches online and they won't be here till early next week. And B comes in tomorrow and she's the one person I would really want to smoke with. Sooo if I wait until my patches come in then I will have two full weeks without B in which to be a bitch and quit then. See? Perfect. That and the uber stupid-not-important-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things drama that occurred yesterday helped me wait to quit.

I'm not going to be all catty and talk about the argument or the person involved. What I will talk about is mother fucking miscommunications. Person A sees things in red, person B sees things in blue. For all the fuck we know, they're both right, but they're gonna fight to the death disagreeing with each other. Why?! It is so frustrating. The worst part about my shit is, really this is why you're gonna carry hate in your heart for me? This? Good choice, have fun with that. I am honestly sorry for lots of things I did wrong in the past. Lots. Unfortunately I can't change a one of them. But I've moved on and am learning from the mistakes I've made. I'm not continuing to be malicious, I'm not arguing for arguments sake, I swear to fucking God. If I'm standing my ground it's because I honestly believe I am correct. There, that's it. I've said my piece. It's out of my hands. I can't let petty arguments linger in me, it's not healthy and certainly not worth it.

In much better news, it was 59 degrees when Ver and I drove by the temp sign last night. At TEN PM! WTF?! If I've ever needed to use an interrobang that would be the sentence. And if you know what one is, I love you (Ver :) ) I can't believe this bizarre hot weather. It'd be way nicer if say I was skinny enough to wear a skirt without my thighs starting a fire, if I wasn't a ginger and could absorb pigment, if our AC worked in the store, or if I was independently wealthy and could cruise on a high end super tiny tour boat all summer and be waited on by the hottest steward on earth. Yeah that would be the tits. But c'est la vie right? This is still the best summer of my life. Well, so far that is, who knows what the future holds.

Today I'm gonna bust out the majority of my payroll so I don't have to worry about it tomorrow morning. Ver and I are getting up early yet again, crazy I know! To go hike out to Dupont. I'm really excited, I've never been there and the weather is going to be perfect for it. Then I have to come to the shop, meet with the bookkeeper and do payroll. Then maybe use the internet and order prints of Sitka pictures while I wait for my love to get off the boat. Then I'm stealing her away to a beach. It's too nice for bars. That's for later that night!

Have a great weekend! I know I will! Ha!

The Best Me

First off, Sitka trip. Fantastic! Ver and I finally made it out of this town, but barely. So we decided to drink the night before, just a little, just to see how it feels :) I went home around 12:30, don't know when she went home. She picked me up in the morning to head to the ferry terminal and asked if I had the tickets on the way out there. I said we get them there all we need is our ID's. So she has me look through her purse for her wallet. No wallet. Yikes. So we flip a bitch and head back to her house. Tear it apart, still no wallet. We decide to check the bar in hopes the cleaners are there and they have it. No cleaners, still no wallet. So we rush over to her job and she gets a photocopy of her ID. Now we haul ass out to the ferry terminal which is about as far away as you can get in this town, still not knowing if they will let her on. We got there and pleaded our case and they let us on. Thank goodness! The ride was fun and boring. Got into town and the ex showed us all around Sitka, it was so much fun. That town is beautiful! He dropped us off at the PBar and we hung out with B's coworker till she got off the boat. Had some drinks, checked into our hotel, went back and had more drinks. It was so effing perfect! Best weekend of my life basically. And I get to see her this weekend, three in a row! The next one is gonna blow. I'm already planning a repeat trip next month.

Now onto me. Ver and I have been talking about being healthier since I've been on my own, and making baby steps towards it. But not really getting that far. After coming back from Sitka I got a massively bad flu and am just getting over it. Because of that my last pack of smokes lasted me like four days, pretty good for me. So I decided that pack was my last! Today Ver and I got up at 5:30 and walked 4.3 miles. I had breakfast, I put on a patch she gave me and got to work on time without coffee. So this is me working on me. I've come to the realization that part of the reason my prior relationships haven't worked is because I am so focused on becoming part of the other person and not staying my own person. I think by doing this I can give B the best me. And I deserve to be the best me. I feel great and so optimistic, I have my whole great life ahead of me. And I'm so excited for it.

And the all the fluttery-worried-excited feeling I had in my stomach all week prior to going to Sitka about telling B I loved her? Well she beat me to it, so I guess we are on exactly the same page. Life is fucking amazing!

Travel Plans

Sooo I bought a ticket to Sitka for next weekend. In my hurry to get out of town I bought a plane ticket. And it wasn't until after I bought it I realized I could have spent $200 less and bought a ferry ticket. And then V decided she wants to come with me. So yesterday I changed my Sitka ticket into a ticket to Anchorage in October. Then I bought ferry tickets for me and V. So now we are both going to Sitka and one way or another I'm going to Anchorage in October. The October plan is to fly to Anch and from there I can fly to the East Coast and visit my mom and g'mom. Then fly to Seattle and see my sis, then fly back to Anch and then back to Juneau. If the summer keeps going as it has, I will have someone to travel with as well. Then the East Coast part will become a mini road trip. If not, then just chilling with my mom. Either way I'm getting out of this town!
As much as it sucks, going through the summer in two week increments really helps the time go by quicker. And speaking of two weeks, this round is almost over! So excited for Saturday! If the weather stays nice, V and I are hiking out to Dupont at like 6AM. I hope it's still nice by then.

Life Is Good

It really really is. The weather has been amazing the last several weeks. Not days, weeks! Like it got to the 90's last week. Which is slightly hotter than my Alaskan body is used to, but it was fantastic none the less.
The summer is flying by, I can't believe it's already mid July! The 4th was fun. I didn't do the usual watch the parade then walk to Douglas. Instead I saw the very beginning of the parade and then ran away and got a tour of B's boat, The Mist Cove. Holy hell that thing is beautiful! I can see why people spend $5K for a week on it.
In other B news, I bought a ticket to visit her in Sitka in two weeks. Yeaa! I can't wait. I've never been to Sitka so that will be fun too, but I could really care less where I am as long as I get to spend time with her. And I'll get to see the ex dude so that will be cool too.
I just started running our other store and will be doing that for the next two weeks or so. It's a nice change from the shop, but I have a feeling I will just end up working all the time at both places. I don't know anything about glass compared to my five years of knife knowledge so that's a little weird to get used to. Lots of convincing sounding lies for now :)
V and I decided to quit drinking for a bit. We started a week ago today and are doing pretty good. Not a drink yet. I don't think I'm all that bad, but I know how I act when I'm drinking. And it's not so bad, but I really like B and I know drinking without her around would probably end in me doing something that would not be good. So no more wasted nights in the bar. At least not until next Saturday when she is safely by my side. Maybe not even then, I haven't decided. But I am saving lots of money already.
Speaking of saving money, V and I had the great idea to freeze our credit cards. We just keep using them on stuff we don't need but want and it's not getting us anywhere good. So we put all of our credit cards in a ziploc and put it in a plastic container and filled the container with water. And shoved it in her freezer. And there it's been for a week. So we're doing pretty damn good over all. It really helps to have a friend doing the same stuff along with me.
We're also trying to exercise and eat better. That's not going quite as well. We did walk over a very rocky beach yesterday, so that's good. I did eat one of the new McD's 3rd pounder burgers today, that's not so good. Eh baby steps right? And somewhere along the way I'll try and quit smoking again, but damn it can't I keep one vice? Please and thank you!
And that's my life at the moment. Absolutely in love and loving life.

Forever and a Day...

I have been horribly ignoring this blog and I don't even have a good excuse. Yes getting a new place, getting used to being alone, starting my summer job, those are alright excuses. But I could have been blogging about all of that. I just suck. Plain and simple.
A slightly better excuse is that I have so much to blog about I just don't know where to start. Since the break up things have been up and down, but that's to be expected. They are gradually going up more than down so that's nice. We're still friends sometimes and that's nice too. It'll get better.
I've been hanging out with my friend V almost constantly for the last three months. We used to just drink all the damn time. Ah lot. But it's one of my ways of coping. But lately within the last month or so we've been doing fun stuff outside of bars. We've been having Saturday Adventure Days. We built a fire pit at her brothers house, we BBQ all the time, she was on the radio. Got our hair did and she watched a dog die the same day. OK that one's not good, but weird and random. But basically, we're learning how to be happy again and it's awesome. Sure we still drink but not anywhere near the level it was at.
About my job, I've started back at the knife shop. Fifth year for eff sake. But I racked up all kinds of bills during the last year so I gotta get em paid down somehow. I was going to try and keep Thursday nights at the bar since it's summer and way busier. I did it twice and decided I don't want to do both jobs. So it's knives for the summer and I'll most likely go back to bartending at the 'Vous this fall. That is if I don't get a wild hair and move somewhere crazy.
I keep feeling like I should move. I get restless after a couple of years, I get it from my dad. But every time I move, I just end up wanting to come back home to Juneau. It has a sick hold over me. Maybe I could get someone to move into my place for the winter, not really give everything up. We'll see.
I've been feeling very socially conscientious lately. Like I want to make a fucking difference. I know I can't change peoples minds and opinions, but I can give them options they might not have known about. I want to make a difference. I want to make an impact on the world. I've felt like this off and on since high school. Specifically regarding gay rights, even though at the time I definitely didn't identify as gay. But some part of my brain knew. Now the rest of me caught up.
Speaking of the whole gay thing, it drives me insane when people say I'm not gay. I had a good (gay) friend say that to me a couple of weeks ago. I almost cried. I can't help it I'm a bi femme and about as far under the gaydar as you can get. I'm still fucking gay. Don't marginalize me. Please. I don't really think bi is the right term for me. It is but it isn't. Yes I've liked men, yes I've liked women. I don't fall for the gender I fall for the person. But I am whole heartily more attracted to women. As I like to say, I get a little straight when I drink. It just happens in a town this size, it's more likely for me to meet a guy than a girl. Which leads me to the next subject.
I met a girl! Huzzah! I don't know what's gonna happen. Whatever does is going to take a nice long time because she is only in town every other weekend for the summer. Which is really good cause I'm not good at going slow. I don't drive but I own a UHaul kinda mentality. But she's incredibly chivalrous and sweet. And it's so nice to kiss a girl again. I've been floating in the stratosphere since last Wednesday and I love it. It's better than any man made drug out there. I am most certainly a fan of this feeling.
And on that oh so long winded note, I believe I have caught my readerless blog up to date. Until next time...

Blogstardom

Sooo I just got to meet the creator of dooce.com at her book signing. It rocked. We got there early and it was a good thing cause apparently the Pacific Northwest loves some dooce. She read some passages from her book and then did q & a. We decided we would leaving towards the end of the q & a so we could be towards the start of the book signing line. Well sis's boyfriend decides to go up and ask her a question. Or rather make a statement. He said basically, No offense but before now I had never heard of you. I'm here with my girlfriend who is 5 months pregnant and her sister from Alaska who wanted to come. But you just scared the shit out of me. (She had read a passage about it taking her 7 months to get back in the saddle after having her baby.) Which got a huge laugh out of the crowd and made J and I thoroughly embarrassed. And then we couldn't make our sneak away plan because people looked at us when he sat back down.

We did manage to leave when the questions turned creepy, ie someone giving her a handmade vajayjay coin purse and some lady hawking a board game she invented. So I went out to smoke and J saved me a place in line. We didn't have to wait too long but it was long enough for me to pick out a book by Augustine Burroughs. Then she was done and the line moved and she signed my book. And I got a pic with her, extra bonus. I said, I'm the sister from Alaska. And she laughed and then the book store handler nazi cattle prodded me and I was swept out the door. Very much like in A Christmas Story when he visits Santa and asks for a football. Football? Football? I don't even play football. But I didn't climb back up the slide as I didn't have anything profound to say. But I did get my book autographed and that was darn good enough for me.

Then we went to Babies R Us. Amazingly enough, no babies for sale. Fucking liars. But they did get a diaper bag and some other baby stuff. You know what they sell there? Other than baby stuff you goob. Nintendo DS. And apparently iPod's, but those I didn't see. I guess it would be intended for moms on bed rest. Or something. Anyway, I found it kind of funny. But not as funny as filtered water in those little cardboard juice containers. Mmm waxy cardboard flavored tepid water. Adios Dasani! And then I was over babied and started feeling weird. Luckily we were done. And here I am in a baby free zone.

Oh on the subject of babies. I did finish my picture for "Jackson", apparently that is the name they're going with. I like it, the name. And the picture. I added a little dude next to a tree and a quote that says something about remember the earth longs to feel you feet and the wind to blow through your hair. Something like that by some guy whose name I can't remember. And I added stars and glittery nail polish to the twilight area. It looks cooler than that sounds I swear.

Seattle Trip Part the deux the 3rd & the IV

So Saturday I didn't wake up with a hangover, I think I just woke up drunk. Awesome. But I never blacked out, so that's a high point. We went to IHOP for brekkie and commented on all the hidious plants and pictures. Turns out they were for sale. Had I been a little drunker when we got there I totally would have bought a huge fake plant to bring to my sister. Lucky for her I wasn't.

After our marginal but fun breakfast we went to Fred's for some pain medicine. The first day out of Juneau and I get to go to one of the only stores we have. Really? But it was fun because there was this super weird lady in the easter section that made it all worth while. I got easter baskets for the kids since I don't have a lot of chances to be the spoiling aunt. Then it was back to my coworker's apartment to wait for my boss' boyfriend. He was way the hell down in Tacoma and the traffic was bad. So we hung out until 2 or so. Then we hit the road and drove up to Bothell. When we were about ten minutes away I started getting all excited because I recognized stuff. I know that coffee hut! I know that burger place, I know that weird casino in the strip mall! She's right around the corner!

Got to J's house, the kids were all playing it cool. Like oh hey, auntie Marguerite, yeah it's cool to see you again. Until I pulled out the baskets and pumped them full of sugar. The best candy was this sucker that had a bunny nose on it. Basically a candy pacifier. So once they opened those they were quiet for like two hours. And ridiculously adorable. Then they started getting more amped up. So I taught them some dance moves every 5 or 7 year old should know. The cabbage patch, the sprinkler, and that one where you put one hand behind your back and one holds up your leg. My nephew rocks socks at doing that one. It was so awesome. They are like little coiled springs.

We went to Target that night because TSA apparently doesn't like electric toothbrushes in luggage. I know I packed it. I think. On the way back I got Taco Bell! Wooo. It was as crappy and delish as I remember.


Sunday the kids went to their dad's so J and I got to go shopping. Well she had to deal with me wanting to look at everything would be more accurate. I may have gone slightly crazy in Seph.ora. Juuuust slightly. We were checking out and the lady signed me up for the beauty points thing and says ok you have 250 points. J says how much is a point? And I say probably a dollar. And yep it was! Holy hell. But I have tons of awesome makeup that will last me forever. Especially because I will keep using my cheap stuff mostly. I'm weird.
We were shopping at the sale section of a store and I saw a striped shirt for ten bucks. And it looked like it could actually fit my fat ass. Good enough for me, I got it. It had small snaps on the shoulder on one side but I didn't think much of it. Well we get home and try on our clothes. I pull the "shirt" out of the bag upside down. And see a crotch. I BOUGHT A JUMPER! So of course I go try it on anyway. Holy hell hilarious. It fits, most of my ass is covered. I just don't see how they marketed it in the first place. We were joking that the check out guy was probably laughing to himself that someone actually bought it. But it's really thin material and I can cut off the crotch and around the lower hem and it will be a cool shirt. But I'm going to wait till I get home so everyone can revel in it's douchebaggery.

Monday was super exciting, what will me being stuck in the suburbs all day. I got to watch several episodes of my favorite Law & Or, SVU. And some show about "make me a supermodel" or some shit like that. But there were naked chicks covered in glitter when I turned it on, so no complaints from me! I also started painting a picture for my unborn unnamed nephew. It's pretty cool, sort of the horizon edge of earth with the sun coming up with twilight above it. I need to add stars and stuff. I'm thinking I will use a glitter pen for that. I think the effect would be cool. But we'll see. I'm not so good at the details. When J came home we got to go to my favorite food store. I could literally live there. The produce is amazing, they have everything on earth. The deli is huge, the cheese selection. It's sort of a health store, but they have regular products there too. And it's huuuuge. I ended up getting the salad bar for dinner. But I couldn't resist some avocados and fresh basil. I just want to wear the basil it smells so good. I think I need to go back for some mozzarella and tomatoes. mmmm. That sounds so good my mouth is watering.

Today I am listening to huge branches fall on the roof. It's super windy but sunny out. I love it. Kind of creepy though when you're in the bathroom and a branch falls on the skylight. Please don't crush me while I'm peeing!
I think I will work on baby's picture for a while. And when J gets of work we get to go to Heather Armstrong's book signing. How awesome is that. I happen to take a random trip to Seattle and this woman who's blog I read is on a book tour and happens to stop in Seattle while I'm here. Rad. I'm way excited.

And that's my trip up to date. Well, I've been getting super strange dreams every night. Like extra weird. I know dreams are always weird, but these take the cake. J says it's her house, she dreamt I was going through all this and was coming to visit a week before I told her, so it could be the house. But I think it's her preggo-ness that makes her psychic. I think the lack of drinking is literally what's doing it. They keep being partially really good and then really bad. And have some repeat characters in them. Weird weird weird, I need a drink :)

Vaca in the S E A Part I

So things seemed like they were under control and okay. Turns out not so much. I ended up back at the hotel waiting for my studio to be ready. And as totally not depressing as that place is, I had to leave. So I had to get the fuck out of dodge. With limited miles and even more limited moneys I headed down to Seattle to spend time with my fave sister.

Seeing as how it was last minute, it was a scramble to get my shifts covered and get all my stuff together. But I managed to get out on Friday. And on the same plane as one of my close friends. She was on her way to Las Vegas for her dirty 30 birthday. So we had a couple of drinks waiting for the plane, and then had four each on the plane. Oh yes we were the drunk girls on the plane. Old man river ahead and across the aisle kept giving us dirty looks. But really it was her damn birthday and I needed so effing badly to get out of town. So screw em, at least we weren't screaming babies with crap in our pants.

We got in and my boss who had flowen in earlier in the day picked me up. We went to our former coworker's workplace. Had some dinner and more drinks. We waited for her to get off work and then went back to her place so my boss could "freshen up" (eff her boyfriend she hadn't seen in 2 months), so me and my coworker drank while waiting.

Then we finally got them out of their room and headed to this small karaoke bar slash chinese restaurant. The first impression I remember was a tall chinese lady bartender with slacks up to her bra I kid you not. We got some food there and more drinks. I finally decided to drink some water. And then decided water didn't mix with booze and threw it all up in the bathroom. Very discreetly, no one knew I had done it. When my boss came in to check on me, I had a bloody nose. Awesome. And got it on my shirt, double awesome. Luckily she had two shirts on and she was able to get the blood out. With all that alcohol missing and a new shirt on, I decided it was time to drink some more. And dance to my boss singing Baby Got Back. Ooooh yeah.

Even though I was super drunk I did notice that they had a pretty full bar right up until bar close. Even a little after. So different from Alaska where the cops are on your ass to have an empty bar. They probably have bigger bars and real crime to worry about down here.

Finally got back home, talked with my coworker about the shitshow that is my head and heart and then passed out on her couch. Day one of vacation over and AWESOME.

Day 2 and 3 recaps to come tomorrow when I'm hanging out at the house all day alone with nothing to do.

So much

It's been forever and a day since I last posted. Not much and everything has changed since then.

We adopted a kitten. His name is Frank because he has blue eyes. He's a gray siamese and is gently retarded. We picked him over his brother because of his lazy eye and his tendency to sit with his mouth slightly agape. We figured he'd get along with our other stupid pets. And he does! We had to convince Zyda that she shouldn't jump on him or swallow him whole. Now they play and sleep together. Jack was very unhappy to see another cat brought in and didn't hold back from telling us. But it only took a few days before she was cleaning his fur and sleeping next to him in the closet. And she hangs out with us more often. So getting Frank really has brought the other pets closer together. Which is what I said a kitten would do. So there!

Last week I stayed at a hotel. So we could have time to think without one of us having to sleep on the couch. We decided that I will move out and we will try and date. That if we're not around each other all the time, maybe we will actually want to be around each other. And if not then I'm already moved out. I hope it works. It's so confusing that two people who love each other so much can't make things work. It's so frustrating. So as much as I'm not looking forward to leaving, I know this is the best solution to our problems. 

And while I was away, I developed a head to toe rash. Awesome. I don't think it's from the hotel room. I woke up with it after staying at a friends house. I've never been allergic to anything. People keep saying it's stress and I guess that's what it must be. I think I'm just not letting myself realize how stressed out I am. But my body knows and is letting me know. It itches like a mofo. In fact I've had it almost a week. I wonder how long it will take till I break down and go to the doctor. I just can't afford it is all. And I have plenty of benadryl gel to keep the itching to a minimum.

Today is St. Patrick's Day and I have to tend bar. Hopefully I will make a ton of money and have fun. I would rather not be working, but I really need the money.

And this morning it was nice and semi spring out. Sun and some melting snow. Now it's still a little sunny but it's snowing. The weather is so effed.

And that's my life in a nutshell for now. I will try and post more often. I just haven't had the desire to do anything. I guess I have to make that stop.

Ups and Downs

That's the way of life though isn't it? Highs and lows. blarg. 

Lately I have been very into painting. I painted my first realistic painting in forever. And I think I did a pretty good job. It's of the view from my craft room, houses and trees and mountainside using watercolors. I was pretty happy when I figured out what colors to use to paint snow. Not too bad. Usually I paint weird blobs and shades of colors. The next day I painted a slightly strange, slightly awesome picture with oils. It's of a little onion boy reaching to get out of a room via a window. I think it's absurdly rad. Then because I hadn't been messy enough with that one, I switched to acrylics and finger painted an Alaskan flag with fireweed below.

I don't think I'm a great artist, I'm just slightly artistic. I'm sure if I went to school I could be fairly good at some medium. But for now it's just fun to do. To make. It makes me feel good.

And lately not much is doing that. I'm so worried and confused and scared. I don't know what to do or not do. I don't want things to get worse, I don't want things to be over. AT ALL. I want this to get better. But what if I can't? What if I'm hanging on for hanging on's sake? I don't want to give up until I know there is nothing I can do. But I need to know what I can try and do. And I'm not getting any answers. I know I still want it. I know I still love. 

Ooh, I got a tattoo this weekend. Fairly spur of the moment. We were out Friday night and I ran into my tattoo artist. For whatever reason I said that I had always wanted a mustache tattoo on my index finger. I have, but I don't know why it popped into my head. He said he would have time the next day. So I drunkenly said yes! The next morning I was so scared excited. Like am I really gonna do this? Really?? I looked them up online, apparently all the damn cool kids are doing it. I got a lot of ideas of what to do and not do. One was really funny, the guy just had the word "mustache" tattooed on his finger. Ha! But I ended up doing it and I love it. And then had a great drunk night of showing it off. On a funny side note, every time I said "Do you want to see my new tattoo?" everyone looked at my boobs. Really? Sheesh, it was funny, it seriously happened almost every time. Then I'd hold my finger up to my face and crack them up. But it's already started to fade because of where it is which is to bad, but I expected it to happen.

Last night was so crazily busy at work. Usually Wednesday's are pretty slow. We have karaoke and lame asses come in and sing. But at nine people started showing up and then it was like a parade coming in. The bar was packed and people were yelling and waving for drinks. I guess what happened was some legie's lost a bet and had to dress up like the Blues Brothers and sing. Hence super packed bar. Lucky for me Deb was there and was able to hop behind the bar and help. And help she did for like three hours. We ran out of beer, fruit, booze. It was amazing. My muscles are so sore today. Especially from lifting a full trash bag above my head to put it in the trash can. Yuck. And it was the night I had to move all the chairs too. I didn't clock out until almost 3, craziness. It felt like summer, I wish that happened more often.

I love being busy like that, it reconfirms that I'm actually a damn good bartender. I can do the job and well. And it makes me feel accomplished. It was great. Now tonight is probably going to be back to the usual of regulars pissing me off and not tipping. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Plarn-tastic

So after I sorted our huge mountain of clothes and cleaned my craft room, I got all kinds of creative. I sorted through my three drawer catch all o' crafts, I cleaned out a junk drawer of pens that the prior tenants had left, and I made a list of things I need to be craftier. Then I got down to plarn business.

In the process of cleaning I found my larger scissors, so I followed the instructions pretty closely. Smooth, fold, snip, snip, snip. Making fairly even sized pieces, but you know, I'm human. It wasn't until about the tenth or twelfth bag that I realized I should be using my rotary cutter and mat that was like three inches away from me. Duh. It was so much quicker and I got perfect inch wide strips. I'm a fricking genius. 

Then I spent the rest of the night tying the loops together into a massive static-y heap. Brown fred meyer's bags are the least static prone. Wal mart has the thinnest bags, go figure. And A&P has the softest plastic out of all of them, if that makes any sense. And I had a bunch of random ones from xmas with season's greetings and whatnot written on them. As I was making the plarn I started daydreaming about where I could start shopping so I could get more interesting bags. And I started coveting bags in general. I don't have enough all of a sudden! I need plastic bags!

I ended up with a large grapefruit sized (mmm that sounds good) ball o' plarn. Which totally isn't enough to actually make something. So anyone want to unload a shit ton of not dirty or torn plastic bags? This damn dirty hippy will take them off you hands!

Plans, Scams, and Plarn Part III

Plans, Scams and Plarn Part III

Plarn

Lately I've been getting into the craft mode. I have several baby blankets or gifts that I need to make soon. Like yesterday. It'd be great if my little sis got something from me for my new nephew Bradley. Who's four month old. Way to be on it! I would like to make something for Sydne who is due in February and I have to make something for Harmonie who is due in March. So I've been looking through my books and online and getting all kinds of ideas not baby related.

I also hate plastic bags. Haaate them. But I have a ton of them. I just keep shoving them into a cabinet. And there they sit, waiting to be repurposed. I think I get it from my parents, they always had tons of bags around to "reuse" which we never really did. Except for emptying the litter box. Enter Plarn.

Plarn is plastic yarn, made from never gonna leave this earth plastic shopping bags. I found a really easy tutorial online on how to make the bags into workable yarn. I also found out about fusing bags to create fabric like material. I'm so excited. And nerdy. I can't do the fusing yet because I need wax paper. But making plarn? I'm so there! I think I'm going to make a kitchen rug first, that seems like an easy way to start out. Then maybe a shopping bag. Out of many shopping bags. Oh the nerd I am!

Now off to cut many many strips of plastic and watch the Italian Job.

Plans, Scams, and Plarn Part II

Alright Plans, Scams, and Plarn Part II

Scams

I was minding my own business about to make lunch when someone knocked on the door. It was a guy, probably early to mid twenties. His name was Justin and he said he had just got back from Iraq and was going door to door to brush up on his social skills.

Said there were about fifty of them in town. First he asked me about my job, since that's what they were supposed to ask apparently. Talked about the snow and how he isn't used to it, but might move here someday. Then he said that they are accruing points and I can help! Gee I can? Tell me how! So basically the government is having a magazine drive to get guys like him into med school. Why the big alarms didn't go off then I don't know, only the little ones did. So I looked it over. I asked him what part of the service he was in, he told me but it sounded weird. I told him I'd buy a subscription, but didn't have cash or check which is what he needed. He said he couldn't bill me and that he'd come by the bar later. I told him where I work remember? So then when he was leaving he asked if I knew the other people in the building. He asked if any of them were older. That and the weird answer about his military branch set off the big alarms. I said goodbye and emailed S. And then got really freaked out. Sure he just wanted my money, but he could have just been some insane person walking by wanting to cut up a stranger. I'm all alone with a dog who will lick you to death if anything. Big help she would be.

So one I feel like an idiot for even half believing him. But two I feel weird and violated that he came to my door. He came to where I live. And he could have been a worse person wanting to do worse things. It's just creepy and horrifying and adds to my long list of paranoia. S told me to call the non emergency police number, but I'm still to weirded out by it. So she's gonna call. She's the best. I love her so much.

And I don't want to leave the house but Zyda really has to go and I think a smoke would do me good. So I'm just gonna man up and do it.

Alright, after the doggy pee break, onto part three of our exciting tri-blog-ogy, Plarn!

Plans, Scams, and Plarn

This is going to be a three parter since blog material has been stacking up. Part one of Plans, Scams and Plarn: 

Plans

So S and I have been talking plans. Plans for us and our future. They're all good and necessary, but only one is fun. Next year start TTC! Huzzah! So of course we were all baby centered when we went out for a date on Friday (which was a blast!). Well, more donor centered. And finding the cheapest way to have a baby. Hell the hetero's do it for free, why can't we?

One of our potential donor's was at the bar, since he owns it and all, and instead of waiting for him to get liquored up, S waits until she's had several martini's and blurts out: We need your sperm, J. We need it! He just ends up laughing, we all do. It was hilarious. But I think in a year he might be willing to spare some for us. We'll see.

Oh and Friday night rocked. We haven't been doing anything fun lately, so we decided to get dressed up and go out. I'll try to upload to flickr but it takes forever. Basically we were two hot bitches if I do say so myself:)

Okay back to plans. While bartending an incredibly boring offsite event I wrote a to do list for '09. Here goes.

• Get divorced I've been separated since '06/'07, completely in love with S,  it's damn time.
  
• Pay off debt I have a very large balance that needs to go away. Hence me taking the job at the knife shop again.
  
• Start Savings Account 
• Obedience train Zyda Enough said.
  
• Lose weight I'm tired of being fat and I know I can lose it. So this is the year.
  
• Pick a career 
• Fix our relationship 
• Make money from my crafts I only mean this in that I need to push myself. I am fairly crafty, if I can make any money off of it, maybe I can make it my job.
  
• Budget! And stick to it 
• Get a passport and travel
• Take a class I've been out of school for about a decade, my brain is rotting. Any class, anywhere. From UAS to a craft class to something online. Anything.
  
• Be more communicative
  
• Learn a new skill or hobby
  
• Spend time with friends
  
• Quit smoking
  

The end. This is completely feasible for this year. There is no reason I can't do all or the majority of these things. And damn it, now it's on the internet, there's no hiding from it.

Next up Part Two: Scams