Magna-poet

Decisions decisions

Why must I always make decisions? I'm a damn Gemini, I can't choose anything!

DIY Fun!

So since my lovely Sarah kicked ass and cleaned the monster of a mess in the second bedroom, I have craft space! Woot woot. And now the creative juices are a flowin'. 

We brought up a crappy 4x6 folding table to use in there. The top is covered in spray paint and a corner is crushed and the inner particle board is showing. So this morning while snuggling with the dog I came up with my first craft project in the room. Table Makeover! I have pretty much everything left over from when I painted the dresser, sanding paper, cleaner, primer, etc. And I have two tester pouches of a red paint we were gonna use on a stool and never did. I even have some wood putty that I can fill in the crushed corner with.

So I was half asleep thinking about what to do to it and I got all kinds of carried away. First just painting it ah color. Then painting a picture on it. Then using body parts to make a picture on it ala "Better Than Chocolate", which definitely sounded like the most fun! If you haven't seen the movie, add it to your queue now! And then it even went to inlaying bottle caps or pottery bits with that liquid glass stuff.

But those ideas minus the first were reaching a bit farther than I could. So it's back to just painting it one color. Blah. But it's more fun than having a shitty table with spray paint on it.

I just filled in the corner with the wood putty and have to let it dry for an hour. Then I can sand and clean and paint. Wee fun! It's sad how excited I am. I love being crafty and artsy but never have the space, therefore I'm never motivated. But now I have tons of space and tons of motivation. Talk about a good gift! My baby rocks socks!

I met with my boss today and talked about plans for the summer. Nothing big, deciding which items to feature in coupons. But I got a tasty lunch out of it and got to see his adorably preggo wife. Who offered me a chance to sell my scarves at their glass shop this summer. Hell yeah! Any income is good! Especially if I'm getting paid for what I like to do anyway. I told her about my screen press and she was interested in that. So if I can actually produce good shirts, I could make some moola that way too. But I've got to get crackin, I'm not going to have time once the summer gets underway.

Speaking of the summer, who's coming to Alaska? Come on up, it rocks! Cruising is actually a pretty cheap way to get around and you could come see me at the knife shop! Juneau is indescribably amazing. It is truly a one of a kind town, I highly recommend it to anyone thinking about a different kind of vacation. And if you don't like the idea of being herded around which most (not all) of the cruise ships do, you have other options. The Alaska Marine Highway is a fantastic ferry system we have in southeast. You can decide which towns to see and how long you want to stick around in each town. 

So seriously, you out there in the blogsphere daydreaming about summer vacations, think about Alaska. You won't regret it. And that's coming from someone who hates it most of the time she's here:)

*I have to add something about my horrible dream I had this morning. You don't have to read it, I just need to get it out of my head.*

Holy crap, I will say it is unequivocally the SCARIEST dream I've ever had. I think it was so bad because it seemed like I was awake the whole time. I woke up when Sarah got up and then fell back asleep. But it was like I was staring at the wall next to my bed still awake. Then I started seeing these vicious faces, one in particular, over and over. And I couldn't close my eyes to make them go away. Then I started hearing voices in my head. Like "she needs a comfy jacket that lets her hug herself" kind of voices. And they were screaming and arguing and freaking me the fuck out. So I was trying to scream for Sarah in my dream, trying to wake myself up and nothing was coming out. So then I reached out to pull on the blinds to make noise so she would come in. But I didn't really do that either. This is when it gets worse. It was like I woke up but could still hear and see everything, so I was still scared. I started shaking with fear and literally shook myself off the end of the bed and ended up against the wall screaming "Mom" over and over. Which is weird cause I'm not that close to my mom. But then I realized I had to yell for Sarah if she was gonna come, so I did. But she never came. Then I actually woke up. It was fucking awful and realistic. I thought I had pulled on the blinds, I thought I had ended up on the floor. I would assume it was like a bad acid trip or a dream you'd have if you were sick with scarlet fever. Holy hell it was horrible. Then I fell back asleep and had another scary dream, but in comparison not nearly as bad.

The Beginning of the End of the Aughts

I really can't believe it's 2009. How strange is that? But what's more strange is that I'm incredibly filled with hope for this new year. This really can be a fresh start. I can make changes in my life that I need to. I can do anything, it's a new year. Everything that happened in the past is just that, the past. I like that thought. I'm gonna try and hang on to it.

So what happened to the Lion-Berrys at the end of the year? Let's see. Monday night I went out with our friend V, got super darn drunk, big surprise. V spent the night cause we're responsible like that. When she left Tuesday morning she locked the door knob. Makes sense, right? Wouldn't want anyone breaking into our place. Especially whilst I sleep off my drunkeness. Fast forward to that afternoon and I finally take the dog out. We go out in the yard, she runs around, blah blah blah. Come back upstairs, yup, door's locked. We don't have a key to the door knob. At all. We just use the deadbolt. Luckily I had my cell phone on me. Called the property manager and he came up forever later. Didn't have the right key, had to be gone forever again. But he gave me several smokes since mine were locked inside. Anyway, the doggie and I spent about an hour locked out. She really did not understand why we had to be by the door instead of inside of it by the heater. But it all worked out in the end.

That night I made steak and potatoes and sauteed carrots and green beans. I was very impressed, seeing as how I don't eat a lot of meat and I cook it even less. But it was pretty tasty, Sarah said she liked it.

Wednesday I had to work. Of course I did, I'm a bartender. I got there at 8 and frantically tried to over stock everything so that we wouldn't run out while the place was packed. And actually the night when pretty well. While it was slow for the first couple of hours I had some drunk guys buying me shots. So that helped my attitude immensely. We didn't have any fights, which is a damn miracle. And it slowed down enough that I was able to leave early! I was told I could leave around 2, but I had to enter in a bunch of credit card slips if I wanted my cut of the tips. Oh hell yeah. So I ended up getting out of there around 40 after. Just when the other bars are closing. Ending up having a swig of Beam on the street (always classy) and then helping my incredibly drunk friend get to her house. All the while freezing my ass off. Then I got my new years kiss the next morning from Sarah. Who slept through the new years, I'll have you know:)

We finished the second season of Prison Break, like two days after we got it. Last night we just finished Carnivale. I'm sad it's only two seasons long, but there is no way they could make a third. Now we're onto the 9th season of Friends that I got from Sarah's SIL. I love me some Friends. 

Today I'm sick-ish. I don't know if I'm actually sick or if it's cause I took cough medicine last night. That stuff makes me so out of it. I had some uber weird dreams because of it. One where I had to go through some security scan to enter a hotel and the lady said that my weight was unhealthy. And I said yeah I know. But my weight was like 500+ lbs. Yikes. But I didn't cough.

I'm gonna let the pooch run. Then I might be back to talk about day dreams of warmer climes, babies, and entrepreneur ideas.

Dreams and Schemes

I had a lame dream last night. It was basically a manifestation of my fears, played out in front of me like real life. I had another one a couple of weeks ago. Usually my dreams are as unintelligible as a psychopath's secret diary, tiny fragments of my day with lots of crazy added in. But I hate it when I have dreams that just seem real. And I'm helpless to fix things in them. I would have to assume it's my subconscious fears being brought up to the forefront. I know I'm afraid of what happened in the dream. I know I'm afraid I can't fix anything. But in the dream and definitely in real life, I want to. All I want to is fix things. But then my brain has always been good at offering up "I can't" at most signs of difficulty. It would surprise me to have a clear as day positive dream. It'd be nice, but unlikely.

The worst part of the dream, or one of them, was when I was trying to fix things, it just made it worse or it was too late. I had made them push away by trying to fix it. Talk about a fucking pickle. But obviously that's a dream, it doesn't really work that way. I need to try and fix things, it would be worse not to, right?

The other terrible part was the look of hate or even lack of emotions towards me. Like I had become so much of a stranger that even hate was too personal of an emotion to be used on me. That's what's sticking with me.

And when I say the dream was my fears, it's not like it's always on my mind. It's a fear that is occasionally brought to light, but I don't obsess over it. I would like that to be known. I'm afraid even explaining the dream will make things worse. But I already did. If I can't talk to them, who can I talk to?

Arg. What I really wanted to post about was a book I read last night. Creepers by David Morrell. I was loaned this book oh probably two years ago and never picked it up. He's the author of First Blood, the book Rambo is based on. I'm not a huge fan of Rambo, so maybe that's why I never started reading it. But this book is completely different. It's about a group of urban explorers getting ready to break into an incredibly well preserved hotel. The hotel was build at the turn of the century, and as the years progressed, the owner never updated the styles of anything. And there is a reporter along for the expedition. That's all I will tell you other than I was hooked in the first couple of pages. And nothing amazing happened on them, he's just a great writing at getting you engaged in the story.

I started reading it because we had to go the laundromat, yuck. I ended up staying up till 12:30 and finishing the book. I so very highly recommend it.

Now to walk the whiney puppy who was JUST outside.