Life is Swell

Superb. Spectacular. Scintillating. I could go on, although maybe not with s's. But for reals, holy crap life is just amazing currently. I suddenly find myself living this near dream life. But I'm awake, this is my life. I am completely overwhelmed by the immense love I have for K and that she has for me. I've never felt anything close to this. I swear just staring at her makes me fall in love again and again all day long. Every little thing about us fits perfectly. When we met it felt so right. I swear it was us picking up where we had left off from the last life. I've never been overly into any form or religion or belief. But it's impossible to ignore the feeling that we've always been together and this is us meeting again. We found each other. And fuck, why not? Maybe that is just how it is. And if meeting my one true love wasn't enough, we just signed a lease on a ridiculously amazing house. Right back downtown where I belong, up the hill with an amazing view. Perfect. Well perfect would be oh I don't know, free! But it's pretty damn fantastic and I wish we could live here a long time. But as it is I know we get at least a year.

So while all this perfect life shit has been unfurling I've still been trudging along at work. Oh work. This summer by far has been the most stressful work season ever. So frustrating to have everything else in my life amazing and to be stressed to the point of tears at work. Are you kidding me?! It's not even like I'm saving lives! I'm selling damn tourists completely frivolous items for fuck's sake! I shouldn't be stressed to the max over it. Yet I have been. Horribly horribly stressed. So I quit. I've quit in the past. Twice I think, over the past six years. But it's never been mid season, as much as I've wanted to just walk away on the busiest day possible. But this season I just couldn't go any further. It wasn't getting better and I know it would only continue to get worse. So I am working till the end of the month. We completely changed my job and pay for the remainder of the time. I'm no longer in charge of everything, just office shiz. Which is great because I was already in charge of office stuff I just couldn't get it done as I was supposed to be selling at the same time and managing everyone. So really I'm doing the shop a super duper favor by sticking around at all and doing all kinds of admin stuff that should have been done forever ago. It's actually quite interesting, partially cause I'm a nerd and like office stuff. But also because I have been doing the same stuff forever. For-ev-er. It's nice to learn even if it's just simple data entry on bookkeeping software. And it's more skills for my next job. I'm applying for a position at the city museum which I think would just be killer. I'm a nerd and I love art and local history. Perfect! So perfect. Oh and the museum is two blocks straight down hill from my house. I can see it from where I'm currently sitting. So talk about a dream commute. I really really reeeeaaally hope I get it. I know I'd be great and they'd be fools to pass me up. Fools I tell you!

So the other stress I've had this summer was planning my fundraiser event. Why the eff I thought planning such an involved party in the summer when I'm working 50 odd hours a week was a good idea I'll never know! I was so afraid it wasn't going to come together and it came damn close to not. Like the week of the show we suddenly only had two performers and one, my lovely amazing K was nervous cause she had never done it and couldn't decide on her songs. But literally last minute two friends stepped up and we ended up with four performers who each did two songs. Other super amazing friends got a ton of silent auction items donated and helped tremendously. I worked the flogger booth which was a much bigger hit than we all anticipated. It warmed my tiny grinch heart to see so many people that I didn't know and who didn't look like the type to care about a gay/ AIDS non profit fundraiser show up and open their wallets. Juneau has a heart and that night I saw it. It was such a great feeling to see the bar full of people, waving dollars, bidding on items, making floggers. I was very proud of everyone involved and the people willing to have a good time and help an amazing cause. I am much more motivated to do another show, but I think I'll stick to winter time when I don't have quite as much on my plate.

So yeah that's my life. It's pretty charmed if I do say so myself. Here are some pics of the house and the show and my beautiful amazing can't-wait-to-not-have-to-say-future future wife. Oh yeah! I finally filed the dissolution papers! By September I can be legally wed to my beautiful fiance, well in six smart states, Alaska stupidly not being one of them. But it will be so nice to not be married anymore. And then married again once and for all!

Okay nix the pix. Stupid free wifi. I mean, yaaay free yet shitty internet!

Smit

Well I am definitely a smitten kitten. It's awesome and scary and fantastic all rolled up in a beautiful, funny, smart, strawberry blond package. She is just slightly fucking amazing. I have truly never met someone I have so much in common with, it's strange in such a good way. I lose my breath every time I see her. What am I 13? Christ. But fuck it, I'm gonna be all floaty happy while I can. Who knows what the future brings but the present is pretty damn epic.

Which makes me not hate work too horribly, so it's really win win win. Just starting receiving freight. Woot. I am excited for it to just be up and running and to work my ass off. The transition from being a part time sleep through the day bartender to up at the ass crack retail manager is tough. I can do either fine, it's just getting into the right mind set. Plus I loooove to sleep during the day. It's just so much better to be awake at night.
Tomorrow I'm meeting with a professional coach. I'm sure it will be fine but I am not really looking forward to it. I know she will tell me all the stuff I know I should be doing but don't want to. Ugh. I don't want to be more professional. I mean, seriously! I want two full sleeves, a wife and babies and a farm. But currently I guess this is what I am. Shmeesh.

Decisions decisions

Why must I always make decisions? I'm a damn Gemini, I can't choose anything!

Farm livin' is the life for me

Today was 100% wholesome, good ol' fashioned work. I harvested a row of carrots and a row of beets. Dug 'em up out of the ground with my two hands. Washed em up all good and got to a chopping. I was going to pickle and can the beets but after boiling them decided not to. Instead I made a salad as similar as possible to one I get from a grocer where my sis lives. I even picked all the herbs from the garden. Still just blows my mind. It turned out pretty darn tasty.

Now on to the carrots. Yesterday some nice neighbor guy brought a bunch of medium spicy peppers. And we have carrots. So I bought cauliflower and vinegar and started looking up how to make giardiniera. I sorta fudged several recipes together. But it seemed ok. Pretty much spent all day in front of the sink either washing, peeling or chopping. Then I sanitized all of the jars and whatnot for the canning. I am still uncertain if I filled them correctly, but again, it seemed ok. Boiled em all up and ended up with at least a dozen that are correctly sealed. At least two are totally effed and a couple others that seem questionable. Still way more spicy veggie goodness than I need. Hello xmas gifts!

All in all it was pretty darn rad. I really could do this. Always. I could only feel more accomplished if I had planted and grown the veggies I picked today. Why do I have to call home a place that is so expensive? Sure things grow there and people have gardens. But I doubt my landlord would like it if I started a little garden on the roof next to my studio apartment. Just going out on a limb there. A place with a yard? Right. Ahh anyway, yet another day dream to pass the time working at the bar or the knife shop.

And now to enjoy some lovely VT beer. "Blackbeary Wheat" from Long Trail, pretty tasty. I think I like Magic Hat #9 best out of the VT beers I've tried so far. Definitely not a fan of Magic Hat Wacko. But the bottle was pretty. And I do love being entertained by the little phrases under the lid.

On the B front, she should hopefully be down here Thursday. I fucking hope so. Think I'll go smoke and wish on a star :) Night lovies.

Time o' Transition

I am so mother effing excited to almost be unemployed! I have today and tomorrow off because there is no boat either day. And then the last boat comes on Sunday. I have to do payroll on Monday but that should be about it. YAYS! Then just a couple days to try to get ready for my trip and off I go.

So far today has been fantastically lazy and productive. I got to sleep in, watched the best movie ever (I love you man), took a package to the post office and have been soaking up WIFI from the Rondy ever since. I decided to make a sticker for the bar. We need some grass roots advertising. And my laptop needs one. So that's making me feel like I'm actually utilizing some of my creativity that's been going to waste.

And I've been contemplating what I'm going to do for the Alternative Arts thingy in December. I have a month to work on it when I get back. I think I'm gonna paint my lady-quin finally. But we'll see. I'm afraid I will just "not decide" and end up not doing anything. Which is bullshit. This is exactly what I need. To be forced to be creative and produce something that the public will see. Instead of just friends that see my random shit.

I really really wish I had the interweb at my house. It would be way better than sitting in a cold bar. Poo. I might just have to get it this winter. But hell if I know what's going on or even where I'll be this winter. It is the great unknown at the moment. Kinda freaking me out. But kinda the most awesome thing ever. I'll take it!

To Double Triple Clarify

I am not mad at my friends for being friends with my ex. I don't hate my ex. She is a good person. They were friends with her when we were together, why shouldn't they be now? I just feel shafted on the way joint custody of said friends has turned out. The end.

PS- I hate tourists. And they're mother effing stupid questions. And then them not believing my answers. Yes I am lying to you. Nope, still lying. Chriiiiist. The real end.

With enemies like these...

...I don't need friends? Ok so no enemies exactly, but I like the way it sounded. This is my little rant that has been bouncing around in my head for the last several days. First off let me clarify and say I love all of my friends. They are my friends for a reason. I wasn't born into having to talk to them, hang out with them, etc. I choose to.
However this summer has been very hectic with running Stabby World and my awesome new relationship(s). Therefore a lot of my friends have seen very little of me. It sucks. I miss them.
With work it always seems like I get invited out for a beer when I'm super stressed and hours away from being able to leave work. If I do get to see them, they're wasted and fairly annoying. They don't understand why I can't just hang out at 2:30 in the afternoon or why I'm not all crazy fun when I do get off work.
Last weekend I had more time to hang out (read: get drunk) with my friends. It was great, I really really miss them. But I made a comment about how they are always doing stuff with my ex and it sucks that I never see them. And now she works with most of them, so they're all buddy buddy coworkers. WHICH IS FINE. Do not get me wrong, I really think she's fun to hang out with. They should. I just can't cause we're not there. So anyway I complain about her hanging with them and not me. And my friend goes "What, I can't be friends with her too?" At which point I wanted to shout, "Yes you can be her friend TOO, but that would entail hanging out with me also! Otherwise you're just her friend." Who bitches about never seeing me. WTF?
I know this is just a big jumble and makes little to no sense, but then I guess it's good no one reads this :) I had to get it out of my head. It's just frustrating when I'm getting chastised for not "being there" for my friends and then they're literally choosing to hang out with the one person who doesn't want to be around me therefore I won't be a dick and be there too. It just plain sucks.

In better news the days are going by. It's hard to remember that no matter what each day has 24 hrs. No matter how long they seem, they all pass. And they are! I now have 16 sleeps till I get to be back in my baby's loving arms. And goddamn it I can't wait! I got a bad reception call, a couple of texts and then a good reception call from her yesterday. It was so good to hear her voice. I couldn't figure out why I was so extremely stressed. I always am this time of year, but this has been exceptionally bad. And it's because I didn't know when I would get to talk to her again. I just can't wait to get off the plane on the East Coast. Holy hell it's gonna be fantastic!
The whole is she moving her thing is still stressful. I think she is. She said she is. But then she was still talking about her winter job back home. So I don't know. Either way it's all gonna work out in the end. I do know she pinky swore V that she would come back to town. So that's pretty much a signed contract :) And I'll take it. She is the best thing that's every happened to me. By far.

Molehilling

Over the last three years or so I've done a great job of incurring a mountain of debt. Oh you bought a house? No. You bought a car? Nope. You, uh, bought groceries and movies and nights at the bar for you and others? That's the one. Nothing like being massively in debt and not actually having anything to show for it. Pure radness. I've been trying to pay them off forever, but something always gets in the way of me making a dent. Such as moving out, transitioning to a new job, etc. I went back to Stabby World specifically to pay off my credit cards. And all summer I really haven't been able to. I've been playing catch up with my rent, that's fun. Oh yeah. But this month I suddenly had a chunk of moola to use (wisely). I was able to pay off my tiny credit card last month, it was under a grand. And then just yesterday I was able to pay off my middle credit card which was several grand. So now I just have one huge momma to pay off. And I was able to put a nice piece of cash towards that too. So I'm back to being broke, but way ahead of the game. Now I only have on card accruing interest, yay! I feel so good! And I was able to pay my bar tab that has been running since about April. Luckily I haven't gone out a ton this summer, but whooo boy it got up there.
So that's the awesomeness that is my life at the moment. That and I have 12, oh yes count em, 12! days left of boats coming into my town! And I have 20 more days until I get to fly outta here and see my sister! I am so effing excited! I can't wait!! Can you tell? I'm just a little excited :) I still don't know where I will be most of my vacation but I will be in SEA for 3 days and then I fly to BOS on Oct 4th and don't return to SEA until Oct 24th and then Juneau Oct 31st. Just in time for Halloween!
Ideally I will spend some time with my Mom (hopefully with Becki there!) in CT, spend some time up in VT with her family, hit MD for the Ray LaMontagne concert and also cruise around Boston with my awesome ice / mountain / top of the world climbing friend. If I sit on my ass in CT with just my Mom for three weeks, oh well at least it'll be different than sitting on my ass here. But hopefully all the fun stuff happens.
Speaking of Becki, today is the last time their boat is in town. And because they aren't picking up passengers tomorrow, they aren't staying over night. Bull shit. Pure bull shit. So I don't know when I get to see her or for how long, so that sucks a big one. And then at the soonest I won't see her for 22 days. If then. Pooop. But whatev's, it's all gonna be fine I know it!
And on that note I think it's time I got outside. Today is my favorite day of the season. The boat doesn't come in until 1pm and it's crisp and kinda sunny out. The perfect day to get a latte, light a smoke and walk on the tranquil empty docks. Ahhh. I love it.

Doin it

Day two of walking. And I got up and did it. As much as I didn't want to and had a splitting headache. But I feel much better having done so. So the whole quitting smoking thing got put on hold. But I have a really good reason, I swear. I ordered patches online and they won't be here till early next week. And B comes in tomorrow and she's the one person I would really want to smoke with. Sooo if I wait until my patches come in then I will have two full weeks without B in which to be a bitch and quit then. See? Perfect. That and the uber stupid-not-important-in-the-grand-scheme-of-things drama that occurred yesterday helped me wait to quit.

I'm not going to be all catty and talk about the argument or the person involved. What I will talk about is mother fucking miscommunications. Person A sees things in red, person B sees things in blue. For all the fuck we know, they're both right, but they're gonna fight to the death disagreeing with each other. Why?! It is so frustrating. The worst part about my shit is, really this is why you're gonna carry hate in your heart for me? This? Good choice, have fun with that. I am honestly sorry for lots of things I did wrong in the past. Lots. Unfortunately I can't change a one of them. But I've moved on and am learning from the mistakes I've made. I'm not continuing to be malicious, I'm not arguing for arguments sake, I swear to fucking God. If I'm standing my ground it's because I honestly believe I am correct. There, that's it. I've said my piece. It's out of my hands. I can't let petty arguments linger in me, it's not healthy and certainly not worth it.

In much better news, it was 59 degrees when Ver and I drove by the temp sign last night. At TEN PM! WTF?! If I've ever needed to use an interrobang that would be the sentence. And if you know what one is, I love you (Ver :) ) I can't believe this bizarre hot weather. It'd be way nicer if say I was skinny enough to wear a skirt without my thighs starting a fire, if I wasn't a ginger and could absorb pigment, if our AC worked in the store, or if I was independently wealthy and could cruise on a high end super tiny tour boat all summer and be waited on by the hottest steward on earth. Yeah that would be the tits. But c'est la vie right? This is still the best summer of my life. Well, so far that is, who knows what the future holds.

Today I'm gonna bust out the majority of my payroll so I don't have to worry about it tomorrow morning. Ver and I are getting up early yet again, crazy I know! To go hike out to Dupont. I'm really excited, I've never been there and the weather is going to be perfect for it. Then I have to come to the shop, meet with the bookkeeper and do payroll. Then maybe use the internet and order prints of Sitka pictures while I wait for my love to get off the boat. Then I'm stealing her away to a beach. It's too nice for bars. That's for later that night!

Have a great weekend! I know I will! Ha!

Life Is Good

It really really is. The weather has been amazing the last several weeks. Not days, weeks! Like it got to the 90's last week. Which is slightly hotter than my Alaskan body is used to, but it was fantastic none the less.
The summer is flying by, I can't believe it's already mid July! The 4th was fun. I didn't do the usual watch the parade then walk to Douglas. Instead I saw the very beginning of the parade and then ran away and got a tour of B's boat, The Mist Cove. Holy hell that thing is beautiful! I can see why people spend $5K for a week on it.
In other B news, I bought a ticket to visit her in Sitka in two weeks. Yeaa! I can't wait. I've never been to Sitka so that will be fun too, but I could really care less where I am as long as I get to spend time with her. And I'll get to see the ex dude so that will be cool too.
I just started running our other store and will be doing that for the next two weeks or so. It's a nice change from the shop, but I have a feeling I will just end up working all the time at both places. I don't know anything about glass compared to my five years of knife knowledge so that's a little weird to get used to. Lots of convincing sounding lies for now :)
V and I decided to quit drinking for a bit. We started a week ago today and are doing pretty good. Not a drink yet. I don't think I'm all that bad, but I know how I act when I'm drinking. And it's not so bad, but I really like B and I know drinking without her around would probably end in me doing something that would not be good. So no more wasted nights in the bar. At least not until next Saturday when she is safely by my side. Maybe not even then, I haven't decided. But I am saving lots of money already.
Speaking of saving money, V and I had the great idea to freeze our credit cards. We just keep using them on stuff we don't need but want and it's not getting us anywhere good. So we put all of our credit cards in a ziploc and put it in a plastic container and filled the container with water. And shoved it in her freezer. And there it's been for a week. So we're doing pretty damn good over all. It really helps to have a friend doing the same stuff along with me.
We're also trying to exercise and eat better. That's not going quite as well. We did walk over a very rocky beach yesterday, so that's good. I did eat one of the new McD's 3rd pounder burgers today, that's not so good. Eh baby steps right? And somewhere along the way I'll try and quit smoking again, but damn it can't I keep one vice? Please and thank you!
And that's my life at the moment. Absolutely in love and loving life.

Forever and a Day...

I have been horribly ignoring this blog and I don't even have a good excuse. Yes getting a new place, getting used to being alone, starting my summer job, those are alright excuses. But I could have been blogging about all of that. I just suck. Plain and simple.
A slightly better excuse is that I have so much to blog about I just don't know where to start. Since the break up things have been up and down, but that's to be expected. They are gradually going up more than down so that's nice. We're still friends sometimes and that's nice too. It'll get better.
I've been hanging out with my friend V almost constantly for the last three months. We used to just drink all the damn time. Ah lot. But it's one of my ways of coping. But lately within the last month or so we've been doing fun stuff outside of bars. We've been having Saturday Adventure Days. We built a fire pit at her brothers house, we BBQ all the time, she was on the radio. Got our hair did and she watched a dog die the same day. OK that one's not good, but weird and random. But basically, we're learning how to be happy again and it's awesome. Sure we still drink but not anywhere near the level it was at.
About my job, I've started back at the knife shop. Fifth year for eff sake. But I racked up all kinds of bills during the last year so I gotta get em paid down somehow. I was going to try and keep Thursday nights at the bar since it's summer and way busier. I did it twice and decided I don't want to do both jobs. So it's knives for the summer and I'll most likely go back to bartending at the 'Vous this fall. That is if I don't get a wild hair and move somewhere crazy.
I keep feeling like I should move. I get restless after a couple of years, I get it from my dad. But every time I move, I just end up wanting to come back home to Juneau. It has a sick hold over me. Maybe I could get someone to move into my place for the winter, not really give everything up. We'll see.
I've been feeling very socially conscientious lately. Like I want to make a fucking difference. I know I can't change peoples minds and opinions, but I can give them options they might not have known about. I want to make a difference. I want to make an impact on the world. I've felt like this off and on since high school. Specifically regarding gay rights, even though at the time I definitely didn't identify as gay. But some part of my brain knew. Now the rest of me caught up.
Speaking of the whole gay thing, it drives me insane when people say I'm not gay. I had a good (gay) friend say that to me a couple of weeks ago. I almost cried. I can't help it I'm a bi femme and about as far under the gaydar as you can get. I'm still fucking gay. Don't marginalize me. Please. I don't really think bi is the right term for me. It is but it isn't. Yes I've liked men, yes I've liked women. I don't fall for the gender I fall for the person. But I am whole heartily more attracted to women. As I like to say, I get a little straight when I drink. It just happens in a town this size, it's more likely for me to meet a guy than a girl. Which leads me to the next subject.
I met a girl! Huzzah! I don't know what's gonna happen. Whatever does is going to take a nice long time because she is only in town every other weekend for the summer. Which is really good cause I'm not good at going slow. I don't drive but I own a UHaul kinda mentality. But she's incredibly chivalrous and sweet. And it's so nice to kiss a girl again. I've been floating in the stratosphere since last Wednesday and I love it. It's better than any man made drug out there. I am most certainly a fan of this feeling.
And on that oh so long winded note, I believe I have caught my readerless blog up to date. Until next time...

Back burner Resolutions

So I've never liked the idea of resolutions. I think it just sets everyone up for a disappointed February. But maybe that's just me. I think it's unnecessary pressure for the start of a new year. In years gone past, I gave up soda starting on my birthday in June. For whatever reason, it made more sense to me. And it worked better. I think because the hype is gone from January. 

So this year I didn't make any resolutions. Yes there are lots of things I want to change, but I don't want to fail at them. If I resolve to do or not do them, I'm gonna fail. So I'm just quietly working on them. But I do have an honest to goodness resolution. That can't take effect until the end of the summer. So I am following society and making it now, but don't have to actually follow up on it for quite a while. So maybe I won't fail! I'm kind of a genius.

Anyways, my new year's, err mid year's resolution: Once I pay off my practically maxed out credit card, I will only use it for travel. Only. No using it between paychecks and letting the debt pile up. I have a smaller card I could use for that, but hopefully I don't need that one either. But my bigger limit card should be used for fun damn it! So ideally we will be able to take several vacations a year. Or at least one. Gots to get out of this effing town sometime. 

This leads me to my summer job. I'm nervous. It's not a new job, I've worked there five years. I quit last January to only work at the bar. The job is semi seasonal. April through September is the money making time. But I usually end up working part time up until December and then sporadically until April. I have a love hate relationship with this job. There is a lot of stress. Like I should be a doctor (minus saving lives) kind of stress. Maybe working on wall street would have been a better example. But I make a ton of money during the summer months. And then there's my boss. I love my boss, don't get me wrong. But we are very different people. And we are very close friends, so I think that adds to the stress when something is fucked up. I'm just worried that it's going to be like summers in the past. I need my boss to be at work more than he is, somehow I don't meet his higher than everest expectations, dealing with douche bag employees. Every year we get at least one person who seems great and then isn't. And it's such a short season usually we try and make it work and not fire them. 

So yeah, I'm worried. But I can pay off my whole credit card if I work hard enough. That's motivation enough for me. And it will be fine in the end. Whatever happens I'll make it through. And then come fall I'm free. We will be debt free or at least massively less in debt, we could move somewhere else if we wanted, whatever we want. 

And I'm damn good at selling knives. Never wanted to be, but took the job on a lark. And there's nothing better than being able to read a person, show them what you know they want, and ring up a $1000+ sale while the other employees drool. Okay that doesn't happen everyday, but it's fucking awesome when it does.

DIY Fun!

So since my lovely Sarah kicked ass and cleaned the monster of a mess in the second bedroom, I have craft space! Woot woot. And now the creative juices are a flowin'. 

We brought up a crappy 4x6 folding table to use in there. The top is covered in spray paint and a corner is crushed and the inner particle board is showing. So this morning while snuggling with the dog I came up with my first craft project in the room. Table Makeover! I have pretty much everything left over from when I painted the dresser, sanding paper, cleaner, primer, etc. And I have two tester pouches of a red paint we were gonna use on a stool and never did. I even have some wood putty that I can fill in the crushed corner with.

So I was half asleep thinking about what to do to it and I got all kinds of carried away. First just painting it ah color. Then painting a picture on it. Then using body parts to make a picture on it ala "Better Than Chocolate", which definitely sounded like the most fun! If you haven't seen the movie, add it to your queue now! And then it even went to inlaying bottle caps or pottery bits with that liquid glass stuff.

But those ideas minus the first were reaching a bit farther than I could. So it's back to just painting it one color. Blah. But it's more fun than having a shitty table with spray paint on it.

I just filled in the corner with the wood putty and have to let it dry for an hour. Then I can sand and clean and paint. Wee fun! It's sad how excited I am. I love being crafty and artsy but never have the space, therefore I'm never motivated. But now I have tons of space and tons of motivation. Talk about a good gift! My baby rocks socks!

I met with my boss today and talked about plans for the summer. Nothing big, deciding which items to feature in coupons. But I got a tasty lunch out of it and got to see his adorably preggo wife. Who offered me a chance to sell my scarves at their glass shop this summer. Hell yeah! Any income is good! Especially if I'm getting paid for what I like to do anyway. I told her about my screen press and she was interested in that. So if I can actually produce good shirts, I could make some moola that way too. But I've got to get crackin, I'm not going to have time once the summer gets underway.

Speaking of the summer, who's coming to Alaska? Come on up, it rocks! Cruising is actually a pretty cheap way to get around and you could come see me at the knife shop! Juneau is indescribably amazing. It is truly a one of a kind town, I highly recommend it to anyone thinking about a different kind of vacation. And if you don't like the idea of being herded around which most (not all) of the cruise ships do, you have other options. The Alaska Marine Highway is a fantastic ferry system we have in southeast. You can decide which towns to see and how long you want to stick around in each town. 

So seriously, you out there in the blogsphere daydreaming about summer vacations, think about Alaska. You won't regret it. And that's coming from someone who hates it most of the time she's here:)

*I have to add something about my horrible dream I had this morning. You don't have to read it, I just need to get it out of my head.*

Holy crap, I will say it is unequivocally the SCARIEST dream I've ever had. I think it was so bad because it seemed like I was awake the whole time. I woke up when Sarah got up and then fell back asleep. But it was like I was staring at the wall next to my bed still awake. Then I started seeing these vicious faces, one in particular, over and over. And I couldn't close my eyes to make them go away. Then I started hearing voices in my head. Like "she needs a comfy jacket that lets her hug herself" kind of voices. And they were screaming and arguing and freaking me the fuck out. So I was trying to scream for Sarah in my dream, trying to wake myself up and nothing was coming out. So then I reached out to pull on the blinds to make noise so she would come in. But I didn't really do that either. This is when it gets worse. It was like I woke up but could still hear and see everything, so I was still scared. I started shaking with fear and literally shook myself off the end of the bed and ended up against the wall screaming "Mom" over and over. Which is weird cause I'm not that close to my mom. But then I realized I had to yell for Sarah if she was gonna come, so I did. But she never came. Then I actually woke up. It was fucking awful and realistic. I thought I had pulled on the blinds, I thought I had ended up on the floor. I would assume it was like a bad acid trip or a dream you'd have if you were sick with scarlet fever. Holy hell it was horrible. Then I fell back asleep and had another scary dream, but in comparison not nearly as bad.