Blogstardom

Sooo I just got to meet the creator of dooce.com at her book signing. It rocked. We got there early and it was a good thing cause apparently the Pacific Northwest loves some dooce. She read some passages from her book and then did q & a. We decided we would leaving towards the end of the q & a so we could be towards the start of the book signing line. Well sis's boyfriend decides to go up and ask her a question. Or rather make a statement. He said basically, No offense but before now I had never heard of you. I'm here with my girlfriend who is 5 months pregnant and her sister from Alaska who wanted to come. But you just scared the shit out of me. (She had read a passage about it taking her 7 months to get back in the saddle after having her baby.) Which got a huge laugh out of the crowd and made J and I thoroughly embarrassed. And then we couldn't make our sneak away plan because people looked at us when he sat back down.

We did manage to leave when the questions turned creepy, ie someone giving her a handmade vajayjay coin purse and some lady hawking a board game she invented. So I went out to smoke and J saved me a place in line. We didn't have to wait too long but it was long enough for me to pick out a book by Augustine Burroughs. Then she was done and the line moved and she signed my book. And I got a pic with her, extra bonus. I said, I'm the sister from Alaska. And she laughed and then the book store handler nazi cattle prodded me and I was swept out the door. Very much like in A Christmas Story when he visits Santa and asks for a football. Football? Football? I don't even play football. But I didn't climb back up the slide as I didn't have anything profound to say. But I did get my book autographed and that was darn good enough for me.

Then we went to Babies R Us. Amazingly enough, no babies for sale. Fucking liars. But they did get a diaper bag and some other baby stuff. You know what they sell there? Other than baby stuff you goob. Nintendo DS. And apparently iPod's, but those I didn't see. I guess it would be intended for moms on bed rest. Or something. Anyway, I found it kind of funny. But not as funny as filtered water in those little cardboard juice containers. Mmm waxy cardboard flavored tepid water. Adios Dasani! And then I was over babied and started feeling weird. Luckily we were done. And here I am in a baby free zone.

Oh on the subject of babies. I did finish my picture for "Jackson", apparently that is the name they're going with. I like it, the name. And the picture. I added a little dude next to a tree and a quote that says something about remember the earth longs to feel you feet and the wind to blow through your hair. Something like that by some guy whose name I can't remember. And I added stars and glittery nail polish to the twilight area. It looks cooler than that sounds I swear.

Seattle Trip Part the deux the 3rd & the IV

So Saturday I didn't wake up with a hangover, I think I just woke up drunk. Awesome. But I never blacked out, so that's a high point. We went to IHOP for brekkie and commented on all the hidious plants and pictures. Turns out they were for sale. Had I been a little drunker when we got there I totally would have bought a huge fake plant to bring to my sister. Lucky for her I wasn't.

After our marginal but fun breakfast we went to Fred's for some pain medicine. The first day out of Juneau and I get to go to one of the only stores we have. Really? But it was fun because there was this super weird lady in the easter section that made it all worth while. I got easter baskets for the kids since I don't have a lot of chances to be the spoiling aunt. Then it was back to my coworker's apartment to wait for my boss' boyfriend. He was way the hell down in Tacoma and the traffic was bad. So we hung out until 2 or so. Then we hit the road and drove up to Bothell. When we were about ten minutes away I started getting all excited because I recognized stuff. I know that coffee hut! I know that burger place, I know that weird casino in the strip mall! She's right around the corner!

Got to J's house, the kids were all playing it cool. Like oh hey, auntie Marguerite, yeah it's cool to see you again. Until I pulled out the baskets and pumped them full of sugar. The best candy was this sucker that had a bunny nose on it. Basically a candy pacifier. So once they opened those they were quiet for like two hours. And ridiculously adorable. Then they started getting more amped up. So I taught them some dance moves every 5 or 7 year old should know. The cabbage patch, the sprinkler, and that one where you put one hand behind your back and one holds up your leg. My nephew rocks socks at doing that one. It was so awesome. They are like little coiled springs.

We went to Target that night because TSA apparently doesn't like electric toothbrushes in luggage. I know I packed it. I think. On the way back I got Taco Bell! Wooo. It was as crappy and delish as I remember.


Sunday the kids went to their dad's so J and I got to go shopping. Well she had to deal with me wanting to look at everything would be more accurate. I may have gone slightly crazy in Seph.ora. Juuuust slightly. We were checking out and the lady signed me up for the beauty points thing and says ok you have 250 points. J says how much is a point? And I say probably a dollar. And yep it was! Holy hell. But I have tons of awesome makeup that will last me forever. Especially because I will keep using my cheap stuff mostly. I'm weird.
We were shopping at the sale section of a store and I saw a striped shirt for ten bucks. And it looked like it could actually fit my fat ass. Good enough for me, I got it. It had small snaps on the shoulder on one side but I didn't think much of it. Well we get home and try on our clothes. I pull the "shirt" out of the bag upside down. And see a crotch. I BOUGHT A JUMPER! So of course I go try it on anyway. Holy hell hilarious. It fits, most of my ass is covered. I just don't see how they marketed it in the first place. We were joking that the check out guy was probably laughing to himself that someone actually bought it. But it's really thin material and I can cut off the crotch and around the lower hem and it will be a cool shirt. But I'm going to wait till I get home so everyone can revel in it's douchebaggery.

Monday was super exciting, what will me being stuck in the suburbs all day. I got to watch several episodes of my favorite Law & Or, SVU. And some show about "make me a supermodel" or some shit like that. But there were naked chicks covered in glitter when I turned it on, so no complaints from me! I also started painting a picture for my unborn unnamed nephew. It's pretty cool, sort of the horizon edge of earth with the sun coming up with twilight above it. I need to add stars and stuff. I'm thinking I will use a glitter pen for that. I think the effect would be cool. But we'll see. I'm not so good at the details. When J came home we got to go to my favorite food store. I could literally live there. The produce is amazing, they have everything on earth. The deli is huge, the cheese selection. It's sort of a health store, but they have regular products there too. And it's huuuuge. I ended up getting the salad bar for dinner. But I couldn't resist some avocados and fresh basil. I just want to wear the basil it smells so good. I think I need to go back for some mozzarella and tomatoes. mmmm. That sounds so good my mouth is watering.

Today I am listening to huge branches fall on the roof. It's super windy but sunny out. I love it. Kind of creepy though when you're in the bathroom and a branch falls on the skylight. Please don't crush me while I'm peeing!
I think I will work on baby's picture for a while. And when J gets of work we get to go to Heather Armstrong's book signing. How awesome is that. I happen to take a random trip to Seattle and this woman who's blog I read is on a book tour and happens to stop in Seattle while I'm here. Rad. I'm way excited.

And that's my trip up to date. Well, I've been getting super strange dreams every night. Like extra weird. I know dreams are always weird, but these take the cake. J says it's her house, she dreamt I was going through all this and was coming to visit a week before I told her, so it could be the house. But I think it's her preggo-ness that makes her psychic. I think the lack of drinking is literally what's doing it. They keep being partially really good and then really bad. And have some repeat characters in them. Weird weird weird, I need a drink :)

Vaca in the S E A Part I

So things seemed like they were under control and okay. Turns out not so much. I ended up back at the hotel waiting for my studio to be ready. And as totally not depressing as that place is, I had to leave. So I had to get the fuck out of dodge. With limited miles and even more limited moneys I headed down to Seattle to spend time with my fave sister.

Seeing as how it was last minute, it was a scramble to get my shifts covered and get all my stuff together. But I managed to get out on Friday. And on the same plane as one of my close friends. She was on her way to Las Vegas for her dirty 30 birthday. So we had a couple of drinks waiting for the plane, and then had four each on the plane. Oh yes we were the drunk girls on the plane. Old man river ahead and across the aisle kept giving us dirty looks. But really it was her damn birthday and I needed so effing badly to get out of town. So screw em, at least we weren't screaming babies with crap in our pants.

We got in and my boss who had flowen in earlier in the day picked me up. We went to our former coworker's workplace. Had some dinner and more drinks. We waited for her to get off work and then went back to her place so my boss could "freshen up" (eff her boyfriend she hadn't seen in 2 months), so me and my coworker drank while waiting.

Then we finally got them out of their room and headed to this small karaoke bar slash chinese restaurant. The first impression I remember was a tall chinese lady bartender with slacks up to her bra I kid you not. We got some food there and more drinks. I finally decided to drink some water. And then decided water didn't mix with booze and threw it all up in the bathroom. Very discreetly, no one knew I had done it. When my boss came in to check on me, I had a bloody nose. Awesome. And got it on my shirt, double awesome. Luckily she had two shirts on and she was able to get the blood out. With all that alcohol missing and a new shirt on, I decided it was time to drink some more. And dance to my boss singing Baby Got Back. Ooooh yeah.

Even though I was super drunk I did notice that they had a pretty full bar right up until bar close. Even a little after. So different from Alaska where the cops are on your ass to have an empty bar. They probably have bigger bars and real crime to worry about down here.

Finally got back home, talked with my coworker about the shitshow that is my head and heart and then passed out on her couch. Day one of vacation over and AWESOME.

Day 2 and 3 recaps to come tomorrow when I'm hanging out at the house all day alone with nothing to do.

So much

It's been forever and a day since I last posted. Not much and everything has changed since then.

We adopted a kitten. His name is Frank because he has blue eyes. He's a gray siamese and is gently retarded. We picked him over his brother because of his lazy eye and his tendency to sit with his mouth slightly agape. We figured he'd get along with our other stupid pets. And he does! We had to convince Zyda that she shouldn't jump on him or swallow him whole. Now they play and sleep together. Jack was very unhappy to see another cat brought in and didn't hold back from telling us. But it only took a few days before she was cleaning his fur and sleeping next to him in the closet. And she hangs out with us more often. So getting Frank really has brought the other pets closer together. Which is what I said a kitten would do. So there!

Last week I stayed at a hotel. So we could have time to think without one of us having to sleep on the couch. We decided that I will move out and we will try and date. That if we're not around each other all the time, maybe we will actually want to be around each other. And if not then I'm already moved out. I hope it works. It's so confusing that two people who love each other so much can't make things work. It's so frustrating. So as much as I'm not looking forward to leaving, I know this is the best solution to our problems. 

And while I was away, I developed a head to toe rash. Awesome. I don't think it's from the hotel room. I woke up with it after staying at a friends house. I've never been allergic to anything. People keep saying it's stress and I guess that's what it must be. I think I'm just not letting myself realize how stressed out I am. But my body knows and is letting me know. It itches like a mofo. In fact I've had it almost a week. I wonder how long it will take till I break down and go to the doctor. I just can't afford it is all. And I have plenty of benadryl gel to keep the itching to a minimum.

Today is St. Patrick's Day and I have to tend bar. Hopefully I will make a ton of money and have fun. I would rather not be working, but I really need the money.

And this morning it was nice and semi spring out. Sun and some melting snow. Now it's still a little sunny but it's snowing. The weather is so effed.

And that's my life in a nutshell for now. I will try and post more often. I just haven't had the desire to do anything. I guess I have to make that stop.

Ups and Downs

That's the way of life though isn't it? Highs and lows. blarg. 

Lately I have been very into painting. I painted my first realistic painting in forever. And I think I did a pretty good job. It's of the view from my craft room, houses and trees and mountainside using watercolors. I was pretty happy when I figured out what colors to use to paint snow. Not too bad. Usually I paint weird blobs and shades of colors. The next day I painted a slightly strange, slightly awesome picture with oils. It's of a little onion boy reaching to get out of a room via a window. I think it's absurdly rad. Then because I hadn't been messy enough with that one, I switched to acrylics and finger painted an Alaskan flag with fireweed below.

I don't think I'm a great artist, I'm just slightly artistic. I'm sure if I went to school I could be fairly good at some medium. But for now it's just fun to do. To make. It makes me feel good.

And lately not much is doing that. I'm so worried and confused and scared. I don't know what to do or not do. I don't want things to get worse, I don't want things to be over. AT ALL. I want this to get better. But what if I can't? What if I'm hanging on for hanging on's sake? I don't want to give up until I know there is nothing I can do. But I need to know what I can try and do. And I'm not getting any answers. I know I still want it. I know I still love. 

Ooh, I got a tattoo this weekend. Fairly spur of the moment. We were out Friday night and I ran into my tattoo artist. For whatever reason I said that I had always wanted a mustache tattoo on my index finger. I have, but I don't know why it popped into my head. He said he would have time the next day. So I drunkenly said yes! The next morning I was so scared excited. Like am I really gonna do this? Really?? I looked them up online, apparently all the damn cool kids are doing it. I got a lot of ideas of what to do and not do. One was really funny, the guy just had the word "mustache" tattooed on his finger. Ha! But I ended up doing it and I love it. And then had a great drunk night of showing it off. On a funny side note, every time I said "Do you want to see my new tattoo?" everyone looked at my boobs. Really? Sheesh, it was funny, it seriously happened almost every time. Then I'd hold my finger up to my face and crack them up. But it's already started to fade because of where it is which is to bad, but I expected it to happen.

Last night was so crazily busy at work. Usually Wednesday's are pretty slow. We have karaoke and lame asses come in and sing. But at nine people started showing up and then it was like a parade coming in. The bar was packed and people were yelling and waving for drinks. I guess what happened was some legie's lost a bet and had to dress up like the Blues Brothers and sing. Hence super packed bar. Lucky for me Deb was there and was able to hop behind the bar and help. And help she did for like three hours. We ran out of beer, fruit, booze. It was amazing. My muscles are so sore today. Especially from lifting a full trash bag above my head to put it in the trash can. Yuck. And it was the night I had to move all the chairs too. I didn't clock out until almost 3, craziness. It felt like summer, I wish that happened more often.

I love being busy like that, it reconfirms that I'm actually a damn good bartender. I can do the job and well. And it makes me feel accomplished. It was great. Now tonight is probably going to be back to the usual of regulars pissing me off and not tipping. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted.

Plarn-tastic

So after I sorted our huge mountain of clothes and cleaned my craft room, I got all kinds of creative. I sorted through my three drawer catch all o' crafts, I cleaned out a junk drawer of pens that the prior tenants had left, and I made a list of things I need to be craftier. Then I got down to plarn business.

In the process of cleaning I found my larger scissors, so I followed the instructions pretty closely. Smooth, fold, snip, snip, snip. Making fairly even sized pieces, but you know, I'm human. It wasn't until about the tenth or twelfth bag that I realized I should be using my rotary cutter and mat that was like three inches away from me. Duh. It was so much quicker and I got perfect inch wide strips. I'm a fricking genius. 

Then I spent the rest of the night tying the loops together into a massive static-y heap. Brown fred meyer's bags are the least static prone. Wal mart has the thinnest bags, go figure. And A&P has the softest plastic out of all of them, if that makes any sense. And I had a bunch of random ones from xmas with season's greetings and whatnot written on them. As I was making the plarn I started daydreaming about where I could start shopping so I could get more interesting bags. And I started coveting bags in general. I don't have enough all of a sudden! I need plastic bags!

I ended up with a large grapefruit sized (mmm that sounds good) ball o' plarn. Which totally isn't enough to actually make something. So anyone want to unload a shit ton of not dirty or torn plastic bags? This damn dirty hippy will take them off you hands!

Plans, Scams, and Plarn Part III

Plans, Scams and Plarn Part III

Plarn

Lately I've been getting into the craft mode. I have several baby blankets or gifts that I need to make soon. Like yesterday. It'd be great if my little sis got something from me for my new nephew Bradley. Who's four month old. Way to be on it! I would like to make something for Sydne who is due in February and I have to make something for Harmonie who is due in March. So I've been looking through my books and online and getting all kinds of ideas not baby related.

I also hate plastic bags. Haaate them. But I have a ton of them. I just keep shoving them into a cabinet. And there they sit, waiting to be repurposed. I think I get it from my parents, they always had tons of bags around to "reuse" which we never really did. Except for emptying the litter box. Enter Plarn.

Plarn is plastic yarn, made from never gonna leave this earth plastic shopping bags. I found a really easy tutorial online on how to make the bags into workable yarn. I also found out about fusing bags to create fabric like material. I'm so excited. And nerdy. I can't do the fusing yet because I need wax paper. But making plarn? I'm so there! I think I'm going to make a kitchen rug first, that seems like an easy way to start out. Then maybe a shopping bag. Out of many shopping bags. Oh the nerd I am!

Now off to cut many many strips of plastic and watch the Italian Job.