So I was laid up on the couch last night instead of celebrating the inauguration with my friends. Lame lame lame. And we don't have cable, so I haven't seen anything about it. I'm just on the computer now to catch up on my mia days o' sickness.
So as of the last several months, we've been really bad at hanging out with our friends. Just horrible. So I invited one of my friends and her boyfriend over for Sunday dinner. That in turn meant we had to invite another couple of friends who we never hang out with. And then I couldn't leave my former roommate and her boyfriend out of it, so they came too.
Sarah kick our apartment's ass, well, she kicked the dirt's ass. She cleaned so much! And she hung pictures that we've been meaning to put up for at least a month. She did most of it the night I had to work an off site gig. And while they usually suck balls, this one was amazing! First off we got to listen to James Cotton, king of superharp, blues extraordinaire! Secondly, it was slammed the whole time which made it fun. And third, it didn't last all night, so I got to go back to the bar and relax for a bit. Things that weren't so great about it include me cutting my thumb on the foil on a wine bottle pretty early on in the night, me breaking several corks in the bottles (oops), middle aged yuppies tipping poorly and not understanding normal bar etiquette, and us running out of just about everything, especially tonic. But overall it was fantastic!
So anyway, we had our friends over, ate a ton of food and played games. Then several of us went out since it was holiday the next day, we had till 3am. And of course we used it all up. Then the next day I get super sick. I'm sure the alcohol didn't help, but I really think something else made me sick. Tuesday was spent entirely in bed. Today I'm better, but I'm tired from being sick. I really need to clean up from our friends coming over. I wanted to do it yesterday but couldn't. So that's what I should be doing right now. Or I should be walking the dog first. But I'm gonna finish this post instead. It won't take long.
I don't know how to say what I want. Ever. It's a gift I have:) And when I do, it comes out wrong. The answer to what I want is almost always the same and it's the truth. I want to be happy. Or more accurately, I want to be content. Of course there are tons of things I want, but they all add up to me being content. The biggest thing right now is her being content AND happy. And fuck I just don't know how to do that. So what do I do? It also doesn't help that I keep reading all of these baby blogs. I'm sorry I want children. It's what I've wanted since forever. A long long time ago I always said that I wanted to have my first child around 24 and my second one around 27, if not sooner. Well in less than six months I turn 28 with no hopes of child-dom in my future. And I can't just forget it and I'm sorry about that. But that's me. It's not about pressuring, it's just who I am. The end.
This whole post should probably be ignored, my brain is still fried from the fever.
1 comment:
who said no to kids? i didn't say no to kids.
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